Austin City Limits Festival Awash In Fecal Matter: Report

AUSTIN, TX — Austin City Limits Festival concertgoers, you might want to sit down for this one (or not). According to a newly released report, attendees have one more (really gross) thing to cause consternation: Fecal matter.

Thousands of concertgoers poised to head out to Zilker Park for the second weekend of the massive festival Friday to Sunday, have much to be concerned about: Parking, transportation, road closures, safeguarding their valuables and more. Add this to the list: Stock up on hand sanitizers before heading out.

A new report by Lawnstarter — appropriately titled "Music Lovers are Getting Down And Dirty at ACL. Literally!" — reveals an abundance of both fecal coliform and E. coli. In plain English, that's fecal matter.

"Representatives from LawnStarter went to the festival with bacterial swabs and evaluated some of the most popular locations, such as porta-potties, the main stage front rail, picnic tables, scooter rentals, and cell phone charging stations," officials wrote in an email. "The ACL Festival grounds tested positive for both fecal coliform and E. coli, though some areas were more contaminated than others."

Not too surprisingly, those aforementioned porta-potties tested positive for both types of bacteria. "What is surprising is that the main stage front rail, picnic tables, scooter rentals, and cell phone charging stations all tested positive for fecal coliform, the bacterial found in feces and often contains E. coli," researchers wrote.

We'll leave it at that, but you've been warned. If you have the stomach to read the full report, click here.