Snow Day Stress: Tips for Parents Struggling with Weather Woes

By Dr. Michael Oberschneider

Dr. Mike,

These past few weeks of ridiculous two-hour delays and school day cancellations have been very frustrating for me as a single parent. I’ve had to juggle my day care, call out for work twice and my kids’ midterms were cancelled. For what? One bad day with a bunch of extra days off when the roads and weather were perfectly fine? Back in the day when I was a kid, school was rarely cancelled and we even walked to school knee deep in snow...oh yeah, and it was cold, very cold but we still had to go. How do I manage my stress when I am at a breaking point for such stupidity and my kids now feel entitled that a light dusting of snow ALWAYS means a delay or day off?

Concerned Parent

Concerned Parent,

I think anyone who was impacted by Loudoun County Public School and Fairfax Public School’s decision to not cancel school on Tuesday, Jan. 6, agrees that the two school districts made a poor call. Both school districts even formally apologized for the error inasmuch as that morning turned out to be treacherous for children, parents and teachers who were on the road.

Then there were the delays and days off that followed over the past few weeks; and, to your point, while some seemed to make sense, others did not. Most recently, some privately held events at Loudoun County Public Schools were cancelled this weekend due to predicted poor weather conditions but the weekend weather turned out to be just fine.

You raise several very good points, which I think are important to address since so many parents in our community are likely also frustrated by the delays and closings.

First, are school closings on the rise? Second, do frequent school delays and cancellations lead to entitled children? And third, how do we make sense of it all and manage our stress?

I did a little research on the history of school closings in Loudoun County and what I discovered was interesting. According to reporter Dennis Mersereau of the Washington Post, the snowfall at Dulles Airport showed no trend (upward or downward) between the Fall of 1975 and April of 2014, and school cancellations averaged about 5-6 days per year. Yes, there were big years for winter related school closings (e.g., 1993-1994 and 2013-2014) but the linear trend shows that those years were very unusual. While Mersereau noted that the number of times Loudoun cancelled classes did increase over the past four decades, that increase or trend appears to be only slight.

So why is your opinion (and likely the opinion of many others) more negative than the data suggests it should be when it comes to snow days in Loudoun County? To your point, delays and cancellations can create very real problems for us as parents -- making changes last minute for day care and work can indeed be stressful. And remember that it was just last year that we experienced 14 winter weather school cancellations, and that may still be on our minds with the trepidation of so much more of winter to go. We also know that children do best when they have a routine to follow and structure. When school is cancelled parents then have to scramble to figure out how to occupy and entertain their children and that can be draining.

To your point that your children are becoming entitled in response to the many seemingly unwarranted school delays and cancellations, I think most of us who were raised “back in the day” can relate. As a native Midwesterner, I can recall many early mornings that were bitter cold with terrible ice and snow on the roads and walkways; and, if we could not get to school on those days, it was our problem, not the school’s.

But was that approach a good one? And are our children really becoming entitled because we want to protect them from harsh weather and unsafe conditions? We know that it unwise to send our children out to the bus stop when the potential for frostbite is very real. We also know that it is unwise for school buses or parents with kids in cars to be on the road when it is unsafe to do so? So, yes, things were different “back in the day,” but that does not necessarily mean that things were better. I suppose every generation thinks their generation is the best, and while it is normal for us to romanticize our past (especially as we age), I do not think that braving dangerous weather ever made children stronger.

To your point on stress, I understand and respect that you, like many other parents in Loudoun County, have been inconvenienced by the many recent winter school delays and closings, and that is unfortunate. That midterms were cancelled is also unfortunate, but none of us can control the weather or what the school system will do with delays or cancellations. You can, however, control how you think, feel and react, so I recommend taking control of what you can take control of -- having a fail-safe action plan in place for day care or work adjustments with advanced notice, enjoying some extra time with your children and being happy for them on a snow day knowing that they are having fun and are safe.

Most of us also do not know why, how or when exactly a school system decides on delays or closures, but I trust that the involved parties are working hard for us to do the right thing for our children’s safety and wellbeing in those moments. Will Loudoun County Public Schools get it wrong sometimes, of course. But at the end of the day, I think you would agree that the many stresses that come with having your children miss school is still better than fearing for their safety outside of the home and in bad weather.

With a massive East Coast storm reportedly coming our way on Monday, keep in mind that you can control only what you can control.

Dr. Michael Oberschneider is the founder and director of Ashburn Psychological and Psychiatric Services. Send questions to moberschneider@hotmail.com.