In my practice, I see a number of children who are uncomfortable and even very afraid in social situations, including school. This is called social anxiety. Some signs of social anxiety in children may include: avoiding eye contact, not speaking when spoken to, looking at the ground and avoiding signs of affection.
Recently, a parent asked me “What should I do to make him more prosocial?” Having social anxiety is a real source of fear and children are not equipped on how to manage it as adults learn to. Often in children who are socially anxious, we see that they are “normal” at home, where they feel comfortable, which can frustrate a parent further.
Children with social anxiety do best to not be “pushed” to hug their uncle that they see twice a year or make eye contact with strangers to be polite, etc. If they could, they would do it. Just as you would not put someone with a fear of flying on an airplane and tell them they will be “just fine”-it is important to let children go at their own pace at becoming more comfortable.
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Sometimes just being patient and supportive with your child is enough to be helpful for them to overcome and gradually become more comfortable in social situations. Also keep in mind that some children have a tendency to be an introvert, which is okay. If a child’s social anxiety interferes with their ability to attend or perform academically or causes them extreme distress, it may be time to consult with a professional who is an experienced play therapist.