This and That: Pregnant at 40

These days it seems that there is a trend toward waiting to have babies, sometimes well into the 40's. Of late Halle Berry just announced her pregnancy at the grandmotherly age of 46. Adrienne Barbeau was 51 when she gave birth to twins.

I remember starting out with kids at 24 and thinking I was too young as it was. The next one at 27 and I was done... or so I thought. Time, a divorce and remarriage, and all of sudden we had a blended family with six kids and grandkids. Kids moved in, moved out, went to college and we almost had it made... until.

I was 39 and feeling rather sickly one day.  One day turned into the next. Stomach bug, I thought.  My husband had the brains to run out at six in the morning and secure a pregnancy test. I woke up to realize that he was coming home and preparing the test. I rolled my eyes and obliged him with a sample.

Blurry-eyed, we both looked at it.  Baffled. Mumbling, "How do you read this thing anyway?" Pawpaw, as the grandkids call him, was in the other room, getting his reading glasses.

He glanced at it, finally figuring it out. He looked at me, he looked at the test and he looked back at me. All he could mutter was, "I don't think it's negative".

There was a moment or two that I don't remember. I believe I lost it for a few minutes. My supportive husband was telling me it was going to be alright, and it was.

At 40, I had the most wonderful gift.  When I heard that cry for the first time and saw that sweet little face, everything made sense. All six of our collective children welcomed this little frail bundle with open arms and, despite all the age differences, still have good relationships with their sister, who is basically being raised as an only child.

I find that being a mom at 40 was less stressful on the mind (though not the body) than at a younger age. You are more serene, have more patience, more life experience and better problem solving skills.  It is very interesting to have a child start Kindergarten as the next to youngest goes to college.

The challenges are certainly there, as you get older so does your body. My daughter runs faster than I do, and it is forcing me to get in shape. We decided we were not going to get a full night's sleep until we hit the nursing home.  In fact, our ongoing motto is that we can sleep when we're dead. 

Some big questions arise. Will we make it through "new" math? What is the geography of the world today, anyway?  Are we going to be able to keep up with all the changes that she will have to learn?

Knowing that I will be almost 60 (and my husband almost 70) when she is ready for college is mindboggling. Will I be able to get through another teenager?

William Glavin said Mother Nature is providential.  She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers. It rings so true.  I will look forward to every step, as I did with all of them, to try my best to mold her into a good, caring and compassionate human being.