Having Patience With Children

Have you ever watched a TV show where parents are screaming at their children? They are throwing a massive fit, yelling, screaming, and losing it on their children. Have you wondered if you ever acted like that parent? I know that parenting is very hard work. I also know that I lose my patience more than I should. I am not a patient person by nature. I tend to move quickly and think everyone else should be able to keep up, including my children. To keep myself in check, I take many deep breaths and remind myself constantly to not sweat the small stuff.

A very wise man (My Dad) told my husband before our wedding, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and remember, everything is small stuff.”  This has become a mantra in our house. Muddy boots on the floor, spilt juice, ripped pant knees, and the list goes on. These little things can drive a Mom off the deep end. Just remember, yes it is crappy right now, but it will not matter tomorrow, next week, and it really will not matter next year. Part of being a parent is cleaning up the millions of messes that the pitter-patter of little feet causes. There are always times will it will be extremely frustrating, I have to try very, very hard to remember accidents happen.

Do you ever look back and remember why you wanted children? When you are feeling angry, this is a great thing to do. When your teenager back talks or you toddler flushes your keys down the toilet just think back to how badly you wanted to bring this person into the world. Simply being thankful that your child is there and thinking of all the reasons, you love them will calm any situation down. The book “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch is a great resource. This short children’s book poignantly details a Mother’s love of her child. Read it your children, and to yourself. It will be harder to be angry with your child when you are grateful to have them there.

When the heated moment strikes and you want to yell at your child, take a time out. We expect our children to self soothe in time out, we should learn from them. Go to your room or a quiet place for 5-10 minutes and calm down. Strategically think about what needs to happen to diffuse a heated situation and remember once your child is older, you can take time to think before you hand out a punishment. A delayed, calmly given punishment can be very scary in itself. When I was angry at my seven year old on Christmas (I know that sounds bad), I had to spend 30 minutes in my bedroom crying to my Mom on the phone before I was ready to rejoin the festivities and forgive him, and to keep the entire day from being ruined. Use the support systems you have to help yourself in check. Call a girlfriend, your Mom, your spouse and talk out what you are feeling.

The most important thing is to remember that children are children. The majority of what they kids do is not intentional.  They are learning as they go along, and you can turn their mistakes into good lessons if done with patience and love.