The holidays are a time when family and friends come together and share memories, laughs and good cheer. But for families living with Alzheimer’s and related dementias, the holidays can also be a difficult time.
Caregiving responsibilities layered on top of keeping up with holiday traditions can take its toll on families, especially the caregiver. The person with Alzheimer’s may also feel a sense of loss during the holidays. With some planning and adjusted expectations, your celebrations can be filled with joy and magical moments to cherish forever.
Adjust your expectations
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No one, including yourself, should expect you to maintain every holiday tradition or event. Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. Let family members and friends help with baking, cleaning, writing cards and shopping for gifts. Ask if one of your children or a close friend can stay with your loved one while you do something fun, such as go to a holiday party.
Involve the person in the festivities
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There are many manageable activities the person and you can do together. When you bake, let your loved one help measure, stir, or decorate – or simply watch you work. Open holiday cards, wrap gifts, or watch a favorite holiday movie together. Let him or her set the table. Be sure to avoid centerpieces with candles and artificial fruits and berries that could be mistaken for edible snacks.
When the person lives in a care facility
For many people with Alzheimer's, a change of environment — even a visit home — may cause anxiety. Instead of creating a disruption, consider holding a small family celebration at the facility. Bring a favorite holiday food to share. Sing holiday songs, and ask if other residents can join in. Arrange for family members to visit on different days. Two or three familiar faces at a time are likely to be welcome, but more than that may be confusing. Schedule visits at your loved one's best time of day, as people with Alzheimer's often tire easily.
You can't control the progress of Alzheimer's, but by planning and setting firm boundaries, you can avoid needless holiday stress and enjoy the warmth of the season. For other ideas and support, call the Alzheimer's Association 247 Helpline at 800.272.3900 or visit www.alz.org/care.