Do You Need a Mediator Who Is Also an Attorney?

If you are working out a parenting plan (otherwise known as custody and visitation), you probably do not need a lawyer-mediator to help you do it. Any certified, professional family mediator should be able to do that well. A mediator who has a background in developmental psychology or social work might be extra helpful.

In Virginia, most courts use a formula to determine pendente lite spousal support. The formula yields the amount of spousal support that is probably appropriate between the time of separation and the date of divorce. Again, any certified family mediator should be able to apply the formula and able to help the two of you decide whether that amount really is appropriate in your situation. 

Similarly, in Virginia, child support can be very straightforward. You can start with people talking about their needs, incomes, and expenses, and see what they come up with on their own as proposals about child support. Then the mediator usually checks what the court's guidelines and formulas recommend as an appropriate amount. Relevant numbers for the formula include gross incomes for both parents, number of children they have in common, obligations to pay spousal support or support for other children, child care expenses, and payments for  health insurance for the kids. The parties can decide to deviate from the guideline amount, but they have a baseline to anchor their discussion. 

Acting as your scrivener, any certified family mediator should be able to do a good job of writing your complete agreement about custody, visitation, pendente lite spousal support, and child support. You can have a mediation-friendly attorney check the agreement before you sign it. 

The time when I begin to think it might be better to use a mediator who is also an attorney is when there is a lot of wealth to be divided in a divorce. In mediation, it seems most appropriate for people like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to use a lawyer-mediator.

If you have a lot of assets, you need someone with relevant expertise to help you decide what is fair or at least acceptable. If you are arguing about which parts of your property are separate, which are marital assets, and which are hybrids, the issues can be complicated. When there are considerable assets or complex issues, I want my clients to consult with an impartial Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and with separate mediation-friendly attorneys about dividing property. 

In other families, the parties do not own enough property to make dividing it difficult. When the couple's net worth is less than zero, dividing the property and debts can be a challenge. Paying one or more attorneys thousands of dollars to help divide them could make things worse for both parties, so a non-attorney mediator is likely to be least expensive and most helpful.

The bottom line: Virginia has high standards for training and certifying family mediators. Most families can do fine with a mediator who is not also an attorney. Some families will decide for good reasons that they do want a lawyer-mediator.

The author is a Professional Family Mediator certified by the Virginia Supreme Court. She is not an attorney. This article is for informational purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as legal advice. More information is available at fairfaxmediator.com.