Health & Fitness
The Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce
What rights should children have when their parents are separating or are divorced? How well do parents do respecting these rights?
Robert E. Emery, Ph.D. published The Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce in The Truth about Children and Divorce, in which he used his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Almost everything below is a direct quote from his book.
The Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce
Divorced parents still must fulfill their responsibilities to their kids; children should have rights in divorced families. Here is my Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce. If you can give your children these freedoms, you will have gone a long way toward filling your responsibilities as a parent.
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Every child whose parents divorce has:
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The right to love and be loved by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval.
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The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other.
The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry messages, or hear complaints about the other parent.
The right not to have to choose one of your parents over the other.
The right not to have to be responsible for the burden of either of your parents’ emotional problems.
The right to know well in advance about important changes that will affect your life; for example, when one of your parents is going to move or get remarried.
The right to reasonable financial support during your childhood and through your college years.
The right to have feelings, to express your feelings, and to have both parents listen to how you feel.
The right to have a life that is a close as possible to what it would have been if your parents stayed together.
Here are my questions:
What is your opinion? In your family or in families you know, how well do separated or divorced parents succeed in giving children these rights? Is it realistic to try to give children all of these rights? What rights do parents have?
The author, Virginia L Colin, Ph.D., is a Professional Family Mediator certified by the Supreme Court of Virginia. She is not an attorney or a therapist. Nothing here should be construed as legal advice. More information is available at fairfaxmediator.com.