I Heard It And It Took My Breathe Away

Life is hard, challenging, and full of so many obstacles daily. You can never be prepared for everything, nor do you know what your response will always be to a situation. However, there are those times when something happens, when you hear some news, when you just cannot seem to process the information. Those moments in life, when all seems to stand still. One of those times was when I heard the news that Stephen “Twitch” Boss had taken his life recently, at the tender age of 40.

Why did this death impact me so much? I did not know him. He was another celebrity that I had observed through the years on television. But, his persona made many feel as if they knew him. Whether it was on: So, You Think You Can Dance, Dancing With The Stars or The Ellen DeGeneres Show. When I had a chance to visit her studio a few years back and see where the action happened, I envisioned “Twitch,” and Ellen bringing the audience to life with their abundance of joy spread amongst the crowd. The feeling of love that was visible throughout. The positivity that was always there. The array of energy. That is what I saw. What we all saw, or so I thought. In that moment when I heard the horrific news, it took me back to a co-worker, my friend that radiated positivity as well. Or so we thought.

My co-workers and I were graced with the presence of a beautiful woman named Linda. She filled a room with joy, always had a story to tell that was captivating, and could make you smile within moments by sharing her sense of humor. You could never get enough, and being around her just made you feel better. There never seemed to be anything major wrong. Just a beautiful woman living her life. We saw what she put out for us to see, as we do with everyone else. In this case, it was always good. But, as with the case of “Twitch,” is anything always good.

Life can be difficult at times. For Linda it came when she was mistreated in her marriage, and knew the relationship needed to end. She shared some, information about the plans she had for her children, and always ended her conversations with words of encouragement and a smile. This behavior caused many of us to miss the fact that she was living in fear until things had escalated.

Early one Monday morning, my colleagues and I were greeted with the devastating news that Linda (my friend and mentor) had taken her life over the weekend with a self-inflicted gun-shot wound to the head. Hearing about “Twitch’s’,” death drew me back to that moment of pain. She was gone, and the only thing she left was a suicide note.

This traumatic event served as a reminder that we do not always know what we think we know. We are only informed of what people choose to share with us. We also must remember that we should not pass judgment on one another, because we do not fully know what we would do until faced with the same situation. Linda’s words in her final message that was shared with us later said much. “I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Those sentiments have brought me to a state of reflection. A reflection of how limited, and delicate life can be. We must appreciate that which we are given, love while we can, respect others, garner moments of stillness, do the best we can, and remember to live life. We can only manage our life. Only those involved in an event will ever know the full scenario of a situation.

However, this year you can increase your personal strength by remember to:

Be Authentic: Share with those appreciative of meeting the “true you.”

Be Selective: Watch who you let in to your personal circle. In your time of need, you want those who strengthen you not drain you. Relationships are give and take. Make sure you are not doing all of the giving.

Remain Present: while we may want to be all things to others-that is an unrealistic goal. It is time to accept that we are limited on the things we can do. If you do your best, there is no need for guilt.

Allow Yourself To Feel: Everyday is not rosy and we will not allows smell perfume. Sometimes, situations need addressing, hurt is present, and help is needed. We must all learn this is normal, and reaching out to others for support may be necessary.

Be An Intentional Listener: Listen for the smaller things that may be mentioned in passing, but have an underlying message. Is there something being tossed out there for you to catch on to? Sometimes, that may turn out to be a life-line for another.

Many of us questioned ourselves through the years wondering if there was something we overlooked, a subtle clue from Linda. Perhaps not but when those unexpected life changing events occur you are changed forever, and no matter how much time passes, they will always take your breath away.