If You Give A Woman A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

I have met many people since I have moved to Wisconsin, it feels like home as I walk the streets and  meet people on my day to day tasks of being myself and a parent to my children.  I was given the opportunity to become friends with one of my children’s nurses, we ran in the same circles, our children were close in ages,  I loved her sense of humor and most of all, she understood when I called asking questions when my children were sick.  I was saddened when she left the doctors office and headed back to work at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, but I knew that she was needed there, and I knew our friendship would continue despite this.  I was heart broken when I heard that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Here is this wonderful person and now is going to have to fight for her life.  If you have met Jen you KNOW that she is as tough as the come, but still she had twin boys and a singleton boy at home who needed their mother and a husband who needed his wife.  A week or so after seeing that she had been diagnosed with cancer I randomly ran into her at the coffee shop, and she tapped me on my shoulder and I saw her beautiful face, I bought her a coffee and then I just started crying when I looked her in the eyes.   We talked and chatted about how she was doing and hugged and said our goodbye.  Despite a breast cancer diagnosis her sense of humor has prevailed.  To keep her spirits up she played pranks on her family, for example, like spraying a little Pledge cleaner on the floor and laughed when she caught her children slipping on it, and even laughing harder when she was caught by her own prank.  I now own a ginormous doll house for Sigi that we bought at the silent auction benefit for her.  Sigi is in love with it, and now I have a constant reminder of this dear friend.

I will never forget what Jen said to me when my husband Pehr and I walked through the door and she saw me and we hugged, “I knew you would come, I just knew it.”  There are friendships that are quiet, yet strong.  This is ours, we check in on each other through facebook, but it is known from each of us that we are there for each other, you name it and I will help.

Jeannie Bolson, Jennifer Chapel and myself at the benefit for Jen last year.

Jennifer Chapel of Hartland, Wisconsin  has a few words of wisdom from her cancer diagnosis.  Her 1 year cancerversary is February 24th, and there will be many more after that.  To Jen, I love you, and your words and humor give many strength.

If You Give A Woman A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

If you give a woman a Breast Cancer Diagnosis then….. She will ask you for a tissue…. When she uses the tissue…. She will remember all the times she wiped her children’s noses…..

Then she will ask you for a prognosis…. When you give her the prognosis…. She will wonder how her children and husband would cope with her death…. Then she will feel a deep penetrating sadness…. When she is able to pull herself back up…. She will ask you to help save her….

When she realizes there is fighting chance… She will fight like hell to stay around… She will ask you to give her every treatment possible with no complaints… Even when some days she only wants to sit in a corner and cry until the sun goes down…

She will ask you how long these painful symptoms will last…. But decide it is nothing if she can stay around for her family…. She will ask you “Why her?”…. Then she will feel angry and cheated….. When she regains control of her emotions….

She will realize she still has her sense of humor…. She will then do something mischievous to her husband and laugh all day about it…. She may even spray Pledge on the hardwoods for a big “pick me up”…. Then watch her children slip and fall down all day when running…. She did tell them to quit running first….

She might ask for a “new life”…. But soon she will realize the life she has is just fine and will accept her “new life” with cancer and see her family in a new light…. Then she will remember each day to hug them tighter….

When she hugs her children, husband and puppy…. She will ask you for a tissue, as her time with them may have been shortened.

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