Put the Stones Down!

One of my BIG values is to be non-judgmental.  I pride myself on trying my "heartest" (I just accidentally made that word up as I was tying and I love it) not to judge others.  I remind myself that I don't know what others have gone through or are currently going through...so who am I to judge!?!?  What's the saying...until you walk in another person's shoes..... Also certainly I don't want people judging me!  One of my favorite sayings is "People in glass houses don't throw stones!"  When i judge others I eliminate any possibility of connection which is another big value of mine.  i am not a saint in this practice but I do try my best to be mindful about it.

Then WHAMMMMMMMMMM...it hit me like a stone through a window.....lately I have constantly been judging!!  No wonder why i have been feeling like crap...I have been stomping on a big value of mine.  (NOTE:  When you are feeling something strongly...ask yourself "what value am i honoring or conversely what value am I not honoring?"  It's is a great tool to get in touch with your values!)  I have been judging the hell out of someone...that someone is ME!  I have been so self critical, harsh and unforgiving of myself lately that it has almost paralyzed me..OUCH!  AND I know when I am judging myself that is likely when I start judging others...double OUCH!

Let me share a fact with you...When we move outside our comfort zone and/or on the brink of something BIG, those "bitchy" inner critic saboteur voices get LOUD and the stones start to fly!  The judgments they throw out are fast, furious, mean, and they hurt!  We would most likely never think , let alone say that "crap" to another human being...so why do we say it to ourselves and worse yet...why do we believe the "trash talk"?  Why...because we forget to be mindful AND we forget that we have a choice to which "voice" we listen to.  There are many voices inside our heads (that is normal) and they all just want to do their "job" and be heard.

So here are 4 steps to put down the "stones" and stop the self judging:

1. Be mindful and recognize the inner critic's (saboteur) voice...in this case "Judgement".
2. Give voice to the critic.  Have a conversation, ask questions,  get curious, and listen.  (IE "What is your job?"  "What is your real message?"  "What are you trying to do?")
3. It  just wants to do it's "job" and be heard so thank it for doing such a great "job" and then send it on it's way.
4. Seek out the voice of the inner champion (inner captain) and have a conversation...listen carefully to this message..it is the truth.

Remember we have a choice of what voice to listen to!  So put the stones down!

As a life coach I work with people and teach them how to quiet the saboteurs' voices and pump up the volume on the captain's voice! In addition to working with many clients on this topic, I have done a lot of personal work with all my inner voices and now listen to my captain much more than the saboteurs... but once in a while I need to remind myself to put the "stones" down.