The Comfort Zone-An Oxymoron!

“Comfort Zone-noun:  A place, situation, or level where someone feels confident and comfortable; the level at which one functions with ease and familiarity.”  Definition by Meriam-Webster

“Comfort Zone-noun:  A place of no growth, stagnancy, and boredom where one feels hopeless and uncomfortable.”  Definition by AnneMary Schram

Comfort zone is such a funny term-really an oxymoron because I know now “comfort” doesn’t necessarily mean good, happy, fulfilling, balanced.  In fact to me it now means boring, stagnant, stuck, yucky (but familiar).  That familiarity is what makes most of us stay there.  The unfamiliarity feels scary and very risky.

During different times in my life I have stayed in my CZ for long periods (at the high cost of happiness and fulfillment) for many reasons (to name a few):

• Didn’t know any better…ignorance was “bliss”
• Scared sh*tless of change
• Didn’t have the self-confidence to take risks
• Big time fear

Then situations would happen and I would get pushed, pulled, dragged kicking and screaming out of my “cozy” CZ.  Situations like getting the “boot” from a long term job; realizing finally that I was in a miserable, dead-end abusive relationship; acknowledging depression, co-dependency.  These situations would erupt and finally I would do something outside my CZ.  Sounds positive, right?  Well yes and no.  Had I consciously gone outside my CZ earlier (say before the situations became powder kegs), I could have saved myself a lot of time, energy, heartache, money, grey hair, etc.  After I was out of my CZ, the results were amazing.

I now realize the pain and discomfort in the CZ was/is far worse than the pain and discomfort in trying something new, unfamiliar, scary outside my CZ and OH BOY..the benefits!  The opportunities and possibilities are endless outside that confining CZ.  Such as:

• New career that I adore and am super passionate about
• Healthy, happy, amazing relationship with my brand new husband
• New home in a new city
• New loving relationship with myself
• New friends/colleagues

I could go on and on but I won’t…I will bottom line it and say..Pushing myself  PROACTIVELY outside my CZ is awesome.  I feel so alive, stimulated, excited, passionate, and hopeful.

You may be thinking “Yea, sure but I can’t do it”.  To which I say “Yes you can!  If I can do it, anyone can do it!”  It ain’t easy though.  As we move outside our CZ, those nagging inner voices (saboteur) will get loud and try to keep us small, scared, constricted and unconsciously held back.  We may want to run, hide, pull the covers over our heads, procrastinate, stay in denial, ignorance and/or “busy” ourselves with a bunch of mindless distractions that are in fact tactics to keep us “safe” in that darned CZ.  Don’t be tempted to stay..gather the courage to step out of your CZ into the “who knew THIS was possible” zone! Listen to the voices in your head that encourage you and give you strength!  (Side note: Working with a life coach can help tame those critical voices and cultivate the champion voices.)

A few tips to help you move out of the CZ into the land of _________. (You fill in the blank as to where you want to go!):

• Be aware/mindful and admit that your CZ is holding you back
• Choose to listen to your inner champion voices
• Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
• Move through fear with action (small steps are ok!  Progress not perfection)
• Picture yourself outside your comfort zone reaching your next level of success
• Educate yourself
• Take a friend with you

I know you can do it..pick something this week outside your CZ, do it, then celebrate!