To Facebook or Not to Facebook

My oldest daughter has wanted a Facebook account for a few years now. Facebook rules clearly state that one has to be at least 13 to open an account. In June, my daughter will turn 13 and I now have mixed feelings about her getting her own page.

When I was young, there was no social media. My parents did not have to monitor my Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Pinterest accounts because there was no such thing.

When I was in middle school and beyond, my friends and I didn't have the opportunity to cyberbully or to post hurtful things about other people on the Internet for the world to see. We just talked behind each other's backs in small groups. And then denied it. Like God intended.

Alameda is a small island and that island can seem even smaller when in school. All of my friends were full of conflict and drama at that age (still are) and I just can't imagine going through those years on some web page for all to "like" and comment on.

If all these means of communication had been around when I was in junior high and high school, my parents would have certainly monitored my use. And rightfully so. Because, guaranteed, I would have needed it.

And if you've ever seen my Facebook page, one might still think I need some parental guidance. But I digress.

Then again, social media isn't going away. I don't believe this is just some phase and kids will go back to passing notes instead of texting, posting tweeting, etc.

I remember chaperoning a dance at early last year and a cute young couple were awkwardly slow dancing to the last song. Their friends took a picture with a cell phone and uploaded it to Facebook.

Now, I'm not saying that this is at all wrong. The dancing couple were happily smiling, knew what was going on, and seemed to have no problem with it. I, however, was mortified! It was out there! Instantaneously! Forever!

In my day, things didn't happen so quickly. A situation like this would have been old news in the days of drugstore film developing. I would have been on my third boyfriend before those pictures even came back!

To be honest, few people I've talked to have had any problem with Facebook. Or any social media sites for that matter. They have walked their sons and daughters through the privacy settings, cautioned their children about the hazards that could occur, and they monitor their kids' online usage. Most parents have "friended" their sons and daughters, but some haven't. Some parents are "friends" with all of their kids' "friends," most aren't. Some have the password to their children's accounts, while a few don't.

I guess this is all part of growing up nowadays. It's just when my daughter was 10 and she first asked for a Facebook account, 13 seemed so far away.