A Mother’s Message to Teenagers: Say No to Drugs

Jodi Barber had her speech prepared and ready to share at the Sunday memorial for 16, but never had the opportunity to read it.

Burris, a sophomore, died March 26 in Dana Point in what O.C. sheriff's officials said might have been a drug overdose. A toxicology report is pending.

Barber said the Burris family decided the memorial was "more of a celebration of Kelsey’s life" and preferred that she not read the letter. Barber complied, although she still attended to pay her respects.

Barber, a Laguna Niguel resident of more than 20 years, knows all too well about teenagers who die before their time—her son, Jarrod, 19, died in January 2010 of a drug overdose.

"Whenever I go to another memorial service, it brings back the horrific memory of my own son," she said. "I think to myself, 'Another young person gone too soon. When I watch the videos and see their innocence as young children, I feel a pit in my stomach. I go for the mere fact that I need to pay my respects and hug the mother, as I feel her pain. I feel it's a chance for me to speak to the kids who are struggling." 

Here is a portion of the speech she wrote:

When we lose someone we love before his or her time, the grief is inconsolable, the questions neverending …

"Why?"we ask, "and what can be learned from this passing of one whose life was only just beginning?"

A lot of you are asking who is going to be next. That is a very scary thought. Combining prescription drugs along with other drugs or alcohol are killing your friends and our loved ones. You have a chance to make it right.

You must believe in yourself and know you have self-worth. The drug that someone might want you to use, don't touch it. Make the right choice and stay away from it. It can destroy you. Drug addiction rips families apart and breaks people down.

You are able to deal with anything in your life.

Having a positive attitude is a choice you make; your feeling good should not depend on drugs but on what you choose to think.

If you want to change, stop thinking and believing that you are a product of your past and start acting and behaving like the person you want to be.  It will be difficult. Like most things, though, the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.

Nothing ever changes if you don’t do anything different.

You can make positive thinking one of your good habits and enjoy a better quality of life.

Be grateful for today. Sometimes, when you just feel weak, you want to give up, but you have to search within you and find that inner strength and pull those bad feelings out of you. It’s often said there are three kinds of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. It’s time to focus on your responsibilities.

So, starting today, change your ways. Time to put your life back together. Right now, make it your decision to get clean. Do it for yourself. Remember you are capable of being, doing, and having a great life. You only have one life, so choose it wisely. This is your moment, and every single minute you spend, try to hold on to it, 'cause you may never get it again!

Too Many Times

Barber said the speech is one she has written and delivered too many times in the 15 months since Jarrod died.

He was taken to a local doctor for help with anxiety, which led to smoking marijuana and a strong opiate called Opana, she said.

Jarrod’s close friend since kindergarten had died a few days earlier after a long battle with cancer. Three days later, the Barber family discovered Jarrod barely breathing on the sofa at 3 a.m.

“My husband did CPR while I called 911. Jarrod was rushed to Mission Hospital, the same hospital he was born in, and passed away at 3:47 a.m.,” she said.

The memorial service for Jarrod's friend was held that same day, but the Barbers never made it; they were about to plan their own service.

Since Jarrod died, Barber has grown more aware of the drug issue. South County alone has recorded more than 60 overdoses of people ages 18 to 24 in three years, she said.

“I had to do something. I have spoken at several funerals to the kids,” she said. “It’s become my new job.”

Spreading the Word

Barber keeps busy trying to spread the word: Say no to drugs.

In addition to speaking, she created posters with 20 faces of young adults who have lost their lives to pills or heroin.

“I have placed them in windows in Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo and Dana Point businesses. I am currently still putting them up. I have had several calls from teens and have recommended them to seek a professional for help.”

Barber will speak yet again at the end of April at Aliso Niguel High School.

“I can't do this alone,” she said. “If the community comes together, hopefully, the number of deaths of our teenagers and young adults will drop. Through the exposure, I know I have made a difference, and I am grateful.”