Walk your TEDtalk: A brief story of awkwardness and selflessness

DISCLAIMER: I am not sharing this story because I want you to tell me that I am a nice person. While I try to think of others and have incorporated the mantra shared on the TEDx stage into my life, I can also be self-absorbed and sometimes quite frankly, an asshole. So, now that we got that out of the way, let me share how recently I had to eat my own words and walk my talk. 
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The four words that served as a platform for my TEDtalk, are the very four that I practice in my life. ‘It’s not about you,’ was a call for selflessness. A way to inspire others to hurl themselves at the feet of those around them, to serve, and to give time, love, warmth, grace, kindness, and to do these things chronically - especially when it hurts. In my talk I start out by sharing that I too suffer from the disease of selfishness and while I would LOVE to be on the same spiritual level as Mother Teresa, my generosity is no where near her magnitude of grace. I can be callous, rude, self absorbed, indulgent, and while it hurts to admit it, it’s what makes me human. The omnipresent practice of selflessness is truly a life’s long work, but I firmly believe if EVERYONE, especially those who are the decision makers around the world embrace selflessness with zeal, the world’s problems would crumble at the feet of love and grace. 

A few weeks after I took the TED stage, I found myself at the mall once again, with a client. We had just spent three blissful hours celebrating her beauty. She being a first time mom felt like she lost herself, her swag, and needed a jump start. Together, we were able to give her just what she needed, a full dosage of fabulous! On our way back to the car, we spotted a man shuffling through the mall. He didn’t have on shoes, I was tired, he looked lost, and my client was in a hurry. The voice in my head was seriously mimicking the proverbial sitcom scene, where the main character has to deal with a tough decision and an angel sits on her right, the devil on left. Their counsel fuels their decision, the angel was yelling “come on Sky, go help this man”, the other side, cautious, tired, and selfish said “no way, you’ve done enough today, go home, your client needs to leave”. Finally I stopped and said to her, “we have to fix this”. 

We walked up to this man, who introduced himself as David, and said “well, David, I would like to purchase you a pair of shoes and some socks, would you let me buy me buy these for you?” He said “you would do that for me?” Absolutely, we said, and “it’s an honor to do it”. 

David was incoherent for a majority of our trip through the mall, and we received odd looks from passersby wondering how in the hell this threesome came to be. His pants were held up by a fraying piece of rope, and he was talking to himself, demonstrating only splashes of consciousness.  We were able to pick out a new pair of sneakers that offered David good support for his weathered feet. 

David’s hands were so shaky that he couldn’t put the tester socks on, which meant, I had to do it for him. Being the Germaphobe that I am, this meant I had to touch this man’s feet. Then, the line from my talk shouted “sometimes selflessness is dirty and even scary”...and I bent down and put the shoes and shocks on. 

David, my client, and I parted ways after he repeatedly thanked us. He gave me a picture he’d been carrying around in his pocket and a big hug. That was it. 15 minutes of awkwardness, confusion, and cluster-fuck, but it was necessary. 

I hope this story inspires you to slow down, listen to your voice, and answer to the needs of those around you, as dirty and scary as it sometimes may be. When you see someone struggle, if even for a moment, let them know they too are human, just like yourself. 

Just like David.