Happy Mother’s Day to Fellow Professional Worriers!

I remember being annoyed by how much my mom worried about me when I was a kid, and I can hear her words now, “Just wait until you’re a mom. You’ll be worried, too.”

I didn’t have to wait for my first child to be born before I started to understand what she meant. Just in preparation to conceive, I became immersed in my first experiences of Mom Worry. I weaned myself from my caffeine vice; I researched and then started taking prenatal vitamins; and I worried some more.

While pregnant, I got anxious for doctor visits, when I could get momentary relief in hearing the heartbeat or seeing an ultrasound. But, even then, I worried about the potential effects these tests could have on my developing baby.

Post-birth, Mom Worry has never skipped a beat. To start with, there’s worrying about SIDS, vaccinations, allergies, and more. As my son is older now, I find myself worrying about where to send him to school, about him getting teased, or about him teasing others. The list goes on and on.

Besides parenting-specific worries, even regular world worries take on new gravity when becoming a parent. Yesterday in Santee, I was pumping gas, an event that is stressful enough for anyone due to high gas prices and the bad economy. With our kids in mind, though, my worry extends beyond “How will I afford to live?” to “How good of a life will my husband and I be able to provide for our children?”

As if the gas station’s reminder of the bad economy was not enough, I stared off into the distance only to notice a . Talk about a potential whopper of a worry! Intrigued by the sign, I took out my smart phone to snap a photo, and immediately triggered alarm in the man behind me. With great concern, he informed me that I should never use my cell phone when pumping gas.

Great. Now I may have innocently almost caused a major explosion? With a new worry to add to my list, I sheepishly went home, but was fortunately able to lessen my fears after conducting some Web research including the Snopes article “Fuelish Pleasure.” Still, since I’m not into living dangerously, I guess I will refrain from future cell phone use at the pump.

This brings me to today. The day before Mother’s Day has appropriately turned out to be an unofficial celebration of worry. My family attended the Grossmont Adult School’s Parent University. Held at Foothills Adult Center, this bi-annual event is something that my husband and I always look forward to attending.

Grossmont’s Parent Education program hosts a half-day schedule of fun games and crafts that is completely free for families. The program culminates in an educational lecture for parents, and this year’s speaker was local news personality Monica Zech.

It was a little hard to focus on her lecture since I was watching the closed-circuit-broadcast version in a room full of other mothers with young babies and toddlers. Still, amidst the chatter, whining, and crying, I was able to absorb some snippets about how dangerous it is to travel on our local roads.

My friend sitting next to me shared a look of horror as we listened, and she commented, “This is like Red Asphalt, but for parents.” In the end, I am thankful for having been able to hear Zech speak. She may have reinforced some of my worrying, but I feel armed with actions I can take to keep my family even safer.

That’s the thing. I don’t believe that worry alone is a virtue. I think it has a place when it helps us better protect our children, but it is not productive when we worry about what is out of our control or when we worry to the point it impedes our lives or the lives of others.

Still, now that I’m a mother, I understand what my own mom meant. To me, telling me not to worry about my kids is like telling my son not to want toys anymore. It might be ideal for him to not already be a product of consumerism, but it’s a force that I can’t imagine defeating.

To all of my fellow worrying moms out there, perhaps we can try to celebrate Mother’s Day by letting go of some of our worries for the day. But, then again, don’t worry if you can’t.