Laughter as a Caregiver's Tool

Can humor lighten up your darker days?

There isn’t anything funny about cancer or other life threatening diseases. And while modern medicine often gives us a fighting chance with a serious illness, we need to find ways to help ourselves cope with the illness and challenges in front of us. One of the best ways to deal with the difficult times is an age-old remedy: laughter.

Laughter may run counter to everything you face as your loved one receives a devastating prognosis that brings with it more than its share of dark days. But finding a reason to smile, or even better, to laugh, can make all the difference in the world for you and your loved one.

The beauty of lighter moments in an otherwise heavy time is that they can make your loved one more comfortable. This can improve the overall quality of their life and yours. Oftentimes a terminally ill person’s world may shrink down to a hospital room, a single bedroom or the ground floor of their home. That’s why it’s important to create an environment that encourages laughter as a positive tool.

Here are some of the tools I used when caretaking my wife Margaret who had terminal pancreatic cancer.

1. Create a DVD library of favorite movie comedies. Be sure to include films that feature favorite stars. If your loved one is healthy enough to go on outings, consider a trip to the store to have him or her pick out new films, or a trip to the library to borrow something that they haven’t yet seen. If their diet and treatment allow for them to enjoy popcorn or candy, put a basket together of treats that go with the films. Simplify the operation of the DVD player and TV as much as possible and be sure to have remotes are within easy reach. It’s hard to laugh if you can’t get the DVD to operate and the last thing that you want is for your effort at bringing laughter to the room to morph into frustration. Watch the movie with them and share the experience, especially if their illness makes operating the TV too difficult.
2. If they have a favorite author that makes them laugh, go to the bookstore or the library and surprise them with a few choices.
3. Encourage visitors to stop by who are humorous and let them know before the visit that you are hoping they come armed with a funny story or a few jokes. Talking about a shared memory that was a good time, or telling a funny tale can lighten the load.
4. Encourage friends and family to write emails or letters that are humorous. Letters can be especially meaningful since they are more unusual these days.
5. Find out when your loved one’s favorite TV shows are scheduled and, if possible watch them with them. If they are in care at home, TIVO the shows or use On Demand features so that they can enjoy the shows when they have the energy to watch.

While laughter is not a substitute for medication or treatment, it is an important part of everyday life and can make an honest difference in how we feel and see our world.

J. Dietrich Stroeh is author of Three Months: A Caregiver’s Journey from Heartbreak to Healing (2011 FolkHeart Press) and three free ebooks. For more information, visit www.threemonthsbook.com.