Breast Cancer: A Local Survivor’s Journey and Lessons Learned

San Marino resident and business owner seems to know everyone and be involved with everything. But she probably never imagined she would be involved with cancer, especially on such a personal level.

Chan is a breast cancer survivor, as was her mother, until she recently passed away.

Chan wrote the following article for the program at the “Absolutely Beautiful” Fashion Show she helped coordinate and present in August that aimed to raise awareness and support for cancer survivors in the Chinese community.

The show was organized by the with support of the United Charity Foundation.

Chan, one of two members on the American Cancer Society’s Leadership Council in Southern California for the California Chinese Unit, also helped organize April’s Chinese Relay for Life that raised $20,000 for cancer awareness and research.

Chan shares her story:

Cancer. There are a lot of things that come to mind when we hear the word. There are a lot of memories, fears and triumphs that come to mind when we think of what we went through, of what we endured, and ultimately, of what kept us together. We think of the stigma, the pain, the darkness, but what I like to think about when I look back is what the experience taught me, what I learned from it, and how I grew.

I have few words of wisdom and even fewer ways to say it because cancer is a nightmare for some, victory over adversity for others and approaching the topic of cancer is like being new to parenting: We have no idea what we’re doing. At first. But just like our kids, things work out, I know they do, because I’m a mother of four children and as harrowing an experience as cancer was and for some still is, I’d like to, if anything, share a few of the things I picked up along the way that have transformed my life and taught me the most important thing of all: patience.

For me, the worst part of going through the diagnosis, the treatment, prognosis, recovery, wasn’t so much the actual process itself. It was the waiting. The reality of cancer for me began with my mother. It began with tense words, a hushed silence. It began with the doctor telling me my mother had breast cancer. She was in her 70s at the time and the doctors told my family and me that if the cancer didn’t claim her, the treatment might. It was an explosion of emotions that I wasn’t ready to experience or deal with. I remember the stark contrast between the life I had lived, and the life after. Above all, I remembered the ticking seconds, minutes, hours and days.  I was the caregiver for my mother in her journey in fighting against cancer. I remember waiting for things to unfold; the helplessness. Something about hearing those words changes you inside. You’re never quite the same. It’s funny how a few words can turn your world on end, an experience we have all encountered here.

 This was one of those times where you think to yourself: “It will never happen to me.” But irony always has a way of violating your expectations. Fate always has a way of disappointing you. The world reeled in slow motion when I heard the words of my physician. Shock might have been a good way to describe the way my voice caught in my throat, the way my body tensed up, the way I clenched my husband’s hand so tight I thought I might disappear if I loosened my grip just the slightest. I was scared. It seems an understatement. In many ways I am still scared. But to be here, looking at the victory in your eyes; I am no longer afraid.

Where does patience come into play? Patience becomes vital in surviving not just the sickness and the treatment, but the impact it has on your will, your morale, and your life. You learn how to wait for the doctors to give you updates on your condition. Your family learns how to wait in the hospital during your treatments. You learn how to wait for when your loved ones walk into the room to give you comfort. You learn how to wait while lying in bed as the chemo drains your strength. You learn how to wait for the hope of healing. You learn how to wait for the power love has in lifting you beyond your pain, your despair, and ultimately, the empowerment of winning your personal war.

But we learn to wait ultimately for the power of restoration and how it transforms us. Whether we like it or not, cancer definitely changes you in ways I am only beginning to understand myself. Every breath tastes sweeter, every memory more vivid, every action more powerful.

I know I said that as a cancer survivor I learned a lot about patience, about how to wait for good things to come, but I feel that of all the times and places where patience applies in our lives, the cure is not one of these places. I know we all feel the same conviction that we must not wait for the world to give us the cure, but we must race towards it. 

Chan’s mother, Mrs. Wai-Wah Shum Cheng, passed away recently and a memorial fund has been set up in her honor at the American Cancer Society, for Southern California Chinese Relay For Life (SCCRFL).

Do you know Vivian? What is your reaction to her story and what she learned from cancer? How have you been touched by breast cancer? Tell us in the comment box below.