Bedtime Battlefield

     The battlefield was set; it was 8 pm, the sun was waning, and dinner had been eaten. The two factions eyed each other ferociously: mom and dad versus a two month old baby. Despite the odds of a lopsided battle, the 2-1 ratio would make little difference in the carnage that was about to ensue. Each player in the field was armed with their own arsenal and weapons of war. Dad has the bouncy chair, a pacifier, and his vocal chords warmed up and ready to go. Mom carried the baby sling, a white noise app on her phone, and several CD’s of night time jams. The baby was armed with vicious flailing arms, hands balled up in angry fists, and an ear piercing cry that was known to shatter glass and deafen dogs.

     As the clock struck 8, Dad jumped into the ring. He put the baby in a bouncy chair and danced with her around the living room singing Sleeping Beauty. The restless infant began to whimper which built into a crescendo of sobbing. Not to be outdone, Dad inserted a pacifier into her mouth which was angrily spit out in disgust and annoyance. At 9 pm, the exhausted father gave the time out sign which meant that mom Mom would now substitute, entering the boxing ring.

     She stepped in, sling neatly assembled around her torso. She put the baby in the sling and immediately struck up a series of music to soothe the irritated infant. Adele’s soft enchanting voice filled the room, lulling the infant into a deep slumber. Knowing that victory was imminent, she rocked her way to the bedroom and began to slowly lower the child into the bassinet. But just as the baby made landfall, BAM! Her eyes popped wide open accompanied by a mournful wail. Defeated and downtrodden, Mom surrendered and stepped aside for Dad to once again, set foot on the bedtime battlefield.

     And so the night continued in this fashion with a series of substitutions and near victories. By midnight all of the players were exhausted, struggling to keep their eyes open. Finally, the baby was put down and stayed down! The parents passed out in bed. Their victory was so hard fought and well deserved that they had forgone basic night time rituals such as changing into pajamas and brushing teeth. These simple tasks seemed trivial in comparison to what had just occurred in their household. As their heads touched the pillows, they passed out insantaneously into a deep slumber, the victorious champions earning their reward…….until 3 am when the shrieks coming from the bassinet signaled another round to be fought on the bedtime battlefield!