There’s more to being a winner than a winning record

This past Saturday my U14 Girls team fell to another Dixie team giving up a goal in the final five minutes of the game, losing 0-1. That puts our record at 1-3 and with six regular season games to play we’ve got lots of reasons to be optimistic about our chances in the league. Our players been improving both individually and as a team, yet to put it nicely two players expressed their ‘dismay’ to me after the game about our record. Maybe more are thinking the same thoughts?

I guess it’s a lack of maturity and experience that’s clouding their vision because we’ve been in every game and there really isn’t much separating the winning from the losing teams. This weekend we will play two games, one against a team with one of the best records and one against a winless squad. I’m sure many of the players will assume we will go 1-1 on the weekend, but I think there is a good chance we can take both teams. Of course if our players go in thinking we are going to lose it will become the proverbial self-fulfilling prophesy.

As the coach this is a real test for me, keeping my kids optimistic and on the improvement trajectory. I understand that everyone wants to win, but the kids need to understand they can’t always come out ahead on the scoreboard. It’s okay to lose as long as everyone gives their best efforts. To me that’s what being a good citizen is about, not folding in the face of adversity. It’s not okay to have a losing attitude. If everyone continues to learn and grow and try their best the sky will be the limit. If they consider our team a losing squad, the rest of the season will not be pretty.

Nobody said being a coach or parent, or coaching my own kid would be easy. It would be nice if I could get everyone on the same page. For some of these kids this is their last stop before high school sports, and they all need to know their coaches at the next level are going to expect winning attitudes, even when they are on losing streaks. This whole thing really strikes a bad chord with me because as a lifelong amateur athlete the only thing that losing, both individually and on as a team, has ever done to me has made me work harder and I’d like to think smarter.

Never give up, never surrender, that’s the American way right? I think Art Modell, former owner of the Cleveland Browns put it best, “I never give up on my players, and I’ll never give up on people.”

 Somebody else once said, “A learning experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.” If that’s what we are on track to do with this team, just have a learning experience and a losing season I think that’s okay, as long as these 12 and 13 year old girls learn from facing adversity as a team and individuals and keep trying their best.

My favorite quote of all comes from my broker Melissa Bradley, “You just have to get up one more time than they knock you down.” When I think about it there are plenty more valuable lessons that can come from winning than losing. However I can’t wait to get back on the field again, prop my team up and help keep them up!