5 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Tweens Build Confidence

If you have a tween at home, you already know that these years are unique. In this in-between stage, confidence can often take a back seat. As a mom to an 11-year-old and the Founder of The Decided Collection, a sustainable loungewear and sleepwear brand designed for tween girls, I think about this age and stage a lot. 

Something I’m realizing is that building confidence doesn’t have to be complicated. As a parent, here are five simple things you can start doing today.

Help Tweens Name Their Strengths

Have your tween write down three things they love about themselves, from their personality, talent, or something that they’ve done that they’re proud of. When kids can identify what makes them special, they carry that confidence into every room they walk into.

Teach Them to Say “I Can”

We live in a society where we tend to celebrate only the end results, but I always tell my daughter to celebrate what it took to get there. When something’s hard, encourage your tween to say “I can try,” or “I’ll figure it out.” This kind of positive self-talk is surprisingly powerful. When your tween appreciates the accomplishments along the journey, it’ll help build their confidence. 

Encourage a Feelings Journal

The tween years are full of big emotions. Your child is still young, and may not always have the words to express their feelings. Encourage them to write down their feelings. Being able to identify and articulate emotions will lead to self-awareness in their friendships, at home, and at school.

Help Them Practice Positive Self-Talk

At school and online, tweens absorb a lot of messages telling them they’re not enough or should be acting or looking differently. Show them how to prioritize their own voices, and how to catch negative thoughts and flip them around. “I’ll never get this right” becomes “I’ve figured out hard things before, and I can do it again.”

Celebrate What Makes Your Tween Unique

Encourage your tween to set small and achievable goals routinely. For instance, you might ask them to set a goal of reading daily or trying out a new hobby. At the end of each week, ask your tween to share one thing they accomplished and feel proud of doing. Use these conversations to highlight positive moments, and send your tween the message that their interests and quirks are what make them special and great.

Bottom line: By using these five small habits, you can help your tween gain confidence and self-worth.