17 Days 'Til Halloween Trader Joe's Still Jack No Trick Or Treat!

Every Joe Schmo who knows Trader Joe's, knows it has found the sweet spot between commerce and quality of all kinds, from food to service, that diehard shoppers have compared to "Paradise," "Shangrila," "Ground Zero," "A Dream-- like an immaculate 007 martini, from which shaking or stirring are equally a Dr. No No for your safety," and for those, so in the loop, there is a constant fear...the polar opposite of waiting for Godot... waiting for the other shoe to drop.

On the anniversary of multiple first sightings of "Sasquatch," I am happy to report there is no Big Foot in sight as of yet, not on site in Weho, I should specify:

• No Cutesy marketing of "Joe" O'Lanterns
• No trick ponies of price per piece nor pound, however...there was clear evidence of squash-like items called "gourds," a reminder that mother nature is a natural born colorist in a variety of shapes, sizes and textured surfaces, and an impeccable lines-woman too...consider that, next time Weho cries poverty after paying fair wages for man made street demarcations, when the organic variety is applied meticulously to food as a birthright.
• No perceptible difference in attitude nor unflappability of staff employees, even when put to the test and asked if Bernie Sanders was exercising maple force majeure by limiting the supply of Vermont syrup that seems to flow in limitless supply everywhere else, every day of the year...an employee did his earnest thinking out loud, and said, with unabashed candor:

"Not unless he's figured out how to withhold it from the percent of our customers who are part of the 1% he holds in infamy," and concluded, "I don't think so," at the juncture I was thinking, that must be why he's not teaching at M.I.T. You decide whether or not the Joe's staffer's reminder his remark was not for attribution was a smoking gub*, I've already doubled back, and re-considered the premise, after reading the fine print on the labels..."Vanilla Bean" and "Pepper Extract"? For whom is maple not enough? Seems just as likely Putin figured out a way of infiltrating our food supply to leave us dazed, as if using a Pepper Extract "Stun Gun."

Otherwise, no sign of goblins nor food police on parade, and who knew there were this many choices of pumpkins, en masse, they seemed to have the collective complexions of the cast of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine...about which, a documentary I just saw, is in imminent pre-release.

No need to be coy about the possibility of an eleventh hour trick-like prank, so remember, store hours on Halloween Day (October 31,) are from 9am -Noon. 3 Hours Only...Halloween business as usual. For those not in the know, and who dare to know why...make your way to the front door of the WEHO Trader Joe's on Santa Monica Blvd, say about 11:50 am...and do yourself a favor, make yourself a dunce cap to put on as you make your way there...trust me, better for people to think you disguised yourself and are so committed, you will be the first sighting of a method acting, self-appointed dummy...as long as you don't try to Bigfoot your way inside.

You're likely to thank me later... in ghost time.

*A riff off a classic Woody Allen line from the movie, "Take The Money & Run."