Bo Parfet’s Five Tips for Leading as a Parent

Like for many first-time parents, when my oldest son was born, I had a vision for how we would manage our perfect little family—limited screen time, only the healthiest, most organic foods possible, and plenty of toys and games focused on development and positive mental stimulation. And, like many first-time parents, I quickly realized that the hustle and bustle of everyday life throws a wrench in a lot of these seemingly perfect plans.

I have accomplished many things in my professional life. I have been a successful investment banker on Wall Street, developed a leading real estate investment company, and currently oversee an impact investment organization dedicated to promoting positive social change that I founded. My personal life as an adult has also led me on some fantastic adventures around the world, scaling the highest peaks on all seven continents, navigating treacherous rapids, and exploring the inside of dangerous volcanic craters. But parenting? Well, that is a whole new level of adventure!

I have learned many things trying to navigate a household with two growing boys. Looking after our boys’ growth and development is much like being a business leader. To be an effective parent, as much as a business leader, it is important to have confidence, compassion, and humility, among other stand-out qualities. Below are my five tips to leading as a parent.

Educate Yourself

When your child is born, there are a myriad of choices about how to do things right. But unfortunately, you are not handed a Parenting Handbook and there are no specific guidelines or How-To manuals to aid you. Luckily, we live in a digital world where we can learn just about anything we want to.

As a parent, it is important to listen and learn from your child’s pediatrician and other reputable sources to understand how to help your child reach certain milestones. Parenting requires continued learning and growth. Just as your child is learning new things each day, you must adapt and learn alongside them to be effective and someone that they can truly rely upon.

Discipline with Confidence

Behavioral issues typically result from a lack of communication and not knowing how to properly discipline. Within a business environment, team members tend to slack off or become “problem employees” when they are not provided a clear set of expectations.
Similarly, with children, it is important to lay the ground rules early and consistently. Children learn quickly how to manipulate a situation (especially when they show a sweet grin on their face!), but it is important to stay firm with your actions, teaching them the difference between right and wrong.

Be Compassionate and Encouraging

Children are constantly learning from the words and actions of those they are closest to. When a child is hurt or makes a mistake, the best thing you can do for them is to show compassion and encourage them to move forward.
Children often make mistakes; it is a part of learning and growing. We can prepare them to be better children, and more importantly, better adults, by explaining why their actions are wrong and demonstrating ways in which they can improve.
Children need encouragement to grow and develop confidence. Demonstrate words of encouragement daily, and don’t neglect to heed this advice in your adult relationships as well.

Admit to Your Mistakes

As business leaders, adults, and parents, we all make mistakes. There are times where these mistakes are apparent to our children. It is important to own up to your mistakes and explain to your children what happened and how you intend to remedy the situation.
Be a good role model by being open in your communication and letting your children in on the fact that no one is perfect.

Show Up

The most important thing we can do for our children is to be there for them. We are all busy. We get bogged down with our daily tasks in work and at home, but just keep in mind that kids will remember the quality time you spend with them over all else.

Dedicate time in your day, even if it is at the dinner table or 30 minutes before bedtime, to uninterrupted time with your family. Ask your kids about their day and tell them about yours. Play a family game or work on a puzzle. Connecting with your kids and seeing how they learn and grow each and every day will alleviate stress and help you become a better parent, partner, and leader.

About Bo Parfet

Bo Parfet is a mountaineer, naturalist, author, impact investor, and philanthropist. He is the co-founder of Denali Venture Philanthropy, an investment organization that funds entrepreneurs committed to driving positive social change.

Bo is a seasoned financial analyst. Having started his career as a Research Fellow at the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB), Bo spent several years on Wall Street as an investment banker with J.P. Morgan.

While working on Wall Street, Bo began reaching for new heights in his personal life. He is one out of fewer than 200 people to have completed the Seven Summits, scaling the highest peaks on each of the seven continents. This adventure was documented in his books, "Die Trying: One Man's Quest to Conquer the Seven Summits" and "They Lived to Tell the Tale: True Stories of Mountain Adventure from the Legendary Explorers Club.

Bo has participated in research missions along the way, aiding in the discovery of 29 new species in a volcanic crater on Mount Kilimanjaro. He has provided volunteer relief around the world and has earned the Presidential Volunteer Service Award.

Bo has a Bachelor of Arts in Economics from Colorado State University, a Master of Arts in Economics from the University of Michigan, and an MBA from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management.

Bo lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife Meredith and their two young boys, where they spend much of their time exploring the great outdoors.

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