Radical Love

Recognize Your Brothers

Michael Brown and Darren Wilson are my brothers.

One is black and one is white. One is dead and I think the other is in a living hell. They saw each other as “different” and unrelated. They couldn’t recognize each other as brothers.

Therein lies the problem. Too many people get caught up in believing the illusion of our separateness and differentness. As long as we keep believing in this illusion we keep acting as if “us vs. them” is reality. When we act on the basis of “us vs. them” we can feel justified in violating whoever or whatever we perceive isn’t “us”. This attempt at logic is based on the idea that whatever bad experience is happening to “them” is not and cannot be happening to “us”. Out of fear we say: “Do it to them before they do it to us”.

We perpetuate the myth of our disconnectedness at our own peril. This myth has the right eye seeing the left eye as “other” and therefore as a threat and an enemy. Neither sees that they are part of the same body. Neither sees beyond their own “eye”-ness. Many people do not see beyond their own “I”-ness. Too many of us do not see how profoundly interconnected we all are to each other.

The reality beyond the illusion of separateness is the reality that we are all part of the same dysfunctional and lovable human family. Every member of our family is important and valuable. Every single member of our family belongs. Everyone, without exception, deserves to be loved.

When you treat a family member as your “enemy” you turn them into an enemy.

So, what can you do if someone treats you as their enemy?

Love them until it hurts. Then keep loving them to heal the hurt. This is the conspiracy of Radical Love. It is not necessary to like who you love or approve of their behavior. These conditions are not required for the expression of Radical Love. This love is radical because it seeks to re-awaken the humanity of the oppressor. It strives to transform rather defeat the oppressor. Conspiring to love radically is to recognize the human-ness of the “enemy”. It is, in fact, a conscious choice to see the oppressor as a friend-in-the-making rather than as an actual enemy. There is a recognition that the oppressor is also suffering and is projecting their suffering onto the oppressed. Radical Love is applied as a salve to the wounds of the oppressor with the clear intent to heal the damage. This is the rationale for loving your “enemy”.

The madness of hatred and violence cannot be solved with more hatred and violence any more than a blazing fire can be put out by pouring gasoline on it. Radical Love is the water that puts out the fire. It is the real solution to hatred and violence.

It is not an easy solution, however. Unfortunately, the “easy solution” is only to be found in the world of fantasy. Maybe that’s why violence is so tempting and so often confused with problem-solving.

It’s peculiar kind of insanity that believes in the illusion of “us vs. them”. “Us vs. them” is an illusion, a fantasy, and ultimately a nightmare. There is no “them”. There is only us.

All of us.

Michael and Darren are my brothers. They are your brothers, too.