Call me a Loser...

It’s no secret that I can stand to lose a few pounds (ok, like 50). I know (dear reader) it doesn’t look like I weigh a stone over, um, whatever it is my BMI says I should be, but it’s true. So… I did what all working-mom-of-two-with-barely-time-to-breathe would do. I signed up for the ‘Largest Loser’ competition at work. Oh, and let me tell you… this ain’t no willy-nilly training session, this is hard core. After being subjected to long hours of tedious interviews with trainers (not really...hours), writing a novel about my medical history and ultimately signing my life away for 10 weeks… I WAS IN!!

Two weeks to Kickoff: I got ready in the only fashion someone who has no idea what she’s in for does. I shopped. New sports-bra, (and not just any ol’ cheapy one, the overpriced ‘I’m training like an Olympian & gotta treat the girls right one’). New sneakers, running shorts, a notebook, journal and swim goggles. I ate all the sugar, cupcakes, buffets and fast-food I could muster. Extra fries with that? SURE! GNO Pizza and Beer night? SIGN ME UP!! The leftover Valentine’s chocolates didn’t stand a chance.

Night before Kickoff: My internal thoughts were something like this ‘oh my god what have I done? I’m grazing the buffet like I’ve never seen food (and posted it on my FB status). I feel a panicky need to go to Staples and buy a new pen, for my journal entries, Let’s go! ( and spent 30 minutes testing out pens and selecting a perfect journal). Total annihilation of all things candy, sweet or forbidden (I had no idea what those items might be, but I’m sure jellybeans and m&m’s and licorice allsorts are not going to be in the ‘best choices’ list). I feel nauseous.

7:40am  Largest Loser Kickoff: I arrived at the Kickoff, at the scheduled time, after drinking too much coffee (and scarfing down a greasy hashbrown and sausage mcmuffin because it seems less evil when you eat it fast). I found my team sitting in the lobby, drinking (pleasedontmakethismylast) coffee. Jovial and in good spirits, they sat, discussing team pride this early on, how we all arrived wearing shades of green, (referring to our shirts, not our pallor, I’m sure that’ll come) and the varying difficulties we had finding something green (I raided my husbands closet and dusted off an old fleece) and overall lulling ourselves into a state of calm until…

7:50 GREEN TEAM, Here we go…. That’s us!! And so, the rest of the morning was full of pictures, weigh ins, team spirit cheering, pages (and pages) of homework and nutritional information and pep talks from the trainers. Armed with my new menu, body altering workout schedule and the understanding that I was part of something greater; a team with a goal to finish first: I feel empowered and focused.

Coming up next: EVOO and other secret codes