I decided to start writing a column for the school newspaper my senior year of high school. I had always been a voracious reader, knew I wanted to be an English major, and, truth be told, was consumed with naïve visions of becoming the next Kurt Vonnegut. I was going to write because I wanted to write - it never occurred to me that my classmates might actually read it.
And so it was that I learned first-hand how we end up being defined by the things we do. It’s a one-sentence addendum tacked on to the end of our names, a brief summary that becomes a part of our identity.
“My name is Lee Totten,” I would say when I met someone at school. They would just give me a blank stare, followed by a pause, and then a slow look of recognition.
“Oh, you’re the guy that writes that Ramblings column!”
Once I got to college it seemed only natural to continue writing for the newspaper there. For four years I mused on topics as impactful as the unnaturally green grass at my school, whether pink flamingos would be a good addition to said green grass, and one particularly entertaining piece about my experiences learning to ski.*
The tag line associated with my name continued to be a frequent response anytime I introduced myself.
“Hi, I’m Lee Totten…”
“Oh, you’re the guy that writes that Ramblings column!”
Post-college I embarked on a career in the music industry where, leveraging the full-weight of my four-year undergraduate degree, I became best known for a song about Jagermeister. From small clubs to larger stages all over New England, it became apparently that my tag line had changed.
“Hi, I’m Lee Totten…”
“Oh you’re the guy that sings the Jager Song!”
(Mom and Dad were so proud.)
Nowadays the only writing I get to do is the occasional well-crafted Facebook status update, you won’t catch me singing the Jager Song unless I have had a few beers, and for the most part I have done what I can to avoid making a spectacle of myself. And yet once again I find that I am being defined by a tag line, an addendum to my name.
Perhaps it’s a sign of settling down, or a sign of getting older. Perhaps both. Either way, it seems that anytime I introduce myself to someone now I can almost predict their response.
“Hi, I’m Lee Totten…” I say. There is the pause, the blank look. It is obvious that I am no longer the guy that writes that Ramblings column, or even the Jager guy. And then it comes:
“Oh, you’re Dylan and Jake’s dad!”
I guess that’s one tag line I can live with.
- - - - -
* I was an English major. On skis. With all of the athleticism and grace conjured up by the phrase “English major on skis.” Enough said.
