The Freelance Retort: This is Annoying

The Scream by Edvard Munch

by Brian Moloney

A lot of things annoy me.

Surprised?

Really?

Well, that’s annoying….

It doesn’t take much to get me going.

Like October...just on principal.

Or the birds…they’re annoying…especially in the morning.

All that singing and tweeting…really?

And the crickets…all night long…even now.

I mean come on…time to pack it in.

How about the sun?

Getting so low in the sky…always shining in my eyes.

Really?

Then there are the drivers who never learned how to use a turn signal.

Who are almost as bad as the drivers that never learned how to turn them off…all day.

Let’s not leave out the high beam drivers.

And the over caffeinated Type-A’s that constantly flash at you to turn yours down…even when they’re not on.

Bicyclists are annoying…especially when their spandex bunches.

And don’t get me started on runners…especially the sweaty ones.

Yeah….

Not that the walkers are any better….

Who do they think they’re smiling at?

Which leads me to friendly people in general and all their cheerfulness.

Who needs that, especially on a weekday…especially in the morning.

And aren’t we all getting a little tired of babies…especially the cute ones.

I mean, that whole helpless innocents act is wearing a little thin…

Don’t you think?

Then there are the “Know it all’s”…so annoying.

You know?

Clueless people…I don’t get it.

Corn niblets…please, I don’t even want to go there.

Lima beans

Chickpeas.

Kale.

Now I went there.

Organ meats.

Organ grinders.

Organ music.

So many things…not enough time.

Which is also annoying.

Did I mention squirrels?

No…?

Squirrels.

Dogs can be annoying…especially the ones that lick your face when you’re sleeping.

Same goes for people.

So annoying….

Like writers who put just about any old thing on a page and think they’ve done something worthwhile.

How annoying is that?

Asking rhetorical questions…annoying.

Answering rhetorical questions…even more so.

Writing rhetorical questions…yeah.

Reading rhetorical questions….need I say it?

I do…really?

That’s more than annoying.

In fact this whole thing has annoyed me.

To no end….

Which this is, anyway.

Annoying….

I know.

But I tried to warn you, right from the start.

But you wouldn’t listen….

Now we’re both annoyed.

Which also annoys me….

Sighhhhhhhh….

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