The Freelance Retort: Mindless Regrets

The Freelance Retort by Brian Moloney

I was supposed to have waffles for breakfast this morning, but instead mindlessly fixed myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, which is my go-to breakfast on mindless days…which would be most days.

But this morning, I told myself…waffles…today I’m gonna have waffles.

And then I forgot.

So now I’m looking at an empty cereal bowl in which the aforementioned Honey Nut Cheerios did once reside.

So I’m thinking it might just be one of those days.

Now can you see why I’m reluctant to pursue the clone thing?

Although maybe if I had come down and found the clone eating waffles, I would have remembered.

But I can’t afford to think like that.

At least that’s what the doctor said.

The doctor said, looking back at what might have been, instead of what is, is self-defeating.

And I had to agree with him.

Because if I didn’t, I might never have gotten out of his office.

Now I wish I had chosen another doctor.

I don’t know…maybe I’m being too hard on him.

After all, it hard to find a good podiatrist.

And my shoes are a lot more comfortable now…you know, once he showed me how to remove the paper that comes balled up in the toes.

Frank Sinatra had a few regrets…but apparently too few to mention.

But Frank didn’t actually write that line…Paul Anka did, along with the rest of the song.

Paul Anka also wrote, “You’re Having my Baby”…”Puppy Love”…and “She’s a Lady”…

So maybe Paul has a few regrets

Especially since they all became hits for other people, at one time or another instead of him

He might also regret that choice of hairstyle he wore in the 70’s.

But how did I get on to Paul Anka.

Next, I’ll be talking about Pat Boone.

Wait...I just did….

Same thing with the waffles…start out with one thing in mind and end up on Pat Boone.

Which is always awkward.

I think because I’m prone to a wandering mind.

Which as I’ve stated in the past is to be expected because my mind actually has a mind of its own.

I know…that sounds ridiculous…”my mind has a mind of its own”.

But it really does, which explains those….

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