The Freelance Retort: Send in the Clones

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The Freelance Retort by Brian Moloney

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a clone of myself around the house.

So I’ve been working on that in my free time…especially when it rains.

You know…create an exact replica to do all the things that need doing, that I don’t want to do.

Which is most everything that involves some sort of participation on my part....

Taking out the garbage…mowing the lawn…shoveling snow…brushing my teeth….

However, my fear is that since it is a clone of myself, it would figure out a way to sit around doing nothing and get me to do all those things for him.

Then I’d have to do twice as much.

So I have to be careful.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Plus it would be annoying to have to watch my clone constantly checking his Facebook likes, which are actually my Facebook likes, because my clone would probably think Facebook is beneath him, and not worthy of the time and effort he would have to put in to it in order to have his own account.

Which I’m kind of happy about.

Because I could just see all of my FB “Friends” dumping me and “Friending” him…clone or not.

How sad would that be?

My “Friends” finding my clone more interesting than me.

Even though it’s exactly me.

So now, basically, I’m annoying myself.

Perfect….

The way I peel a banana annoys me. Do I have to roll up the peel like that…every time?

The way I throw my dirty laundry on top of my other dirty laundry, under the bed, annoys me…especially since I apparently have no concept of separating whites from colors.

Not to mention that annoying way I make myself feel insecure by silently shaking my head and walking away.

Who needs that kind of judgment? Especially from someone who’s exactly like me in the first place.

Like he thinks he’s better than me?

Not possible.

Besides, I can get that kind of judgment from…

For the rest of the story, or to just kill a couple of more minutes while you’re waiting for your clone to give up the bathroom...Please Click Here....

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