Freelance Retort: Smart Dog

Everyone thinks they have the smartest dog in the world.

They see them sitting in front of the window for hours on end, surveying the neighborhood. You assume they’re enjoying the goings on as their squirrel friends’ frolic and their bird buddies skip from here to there.

Ahhhhh…what an idyllic life, to be a dog.

But maybe—just maybe—what your dog is really thinking is….

Where the heck am I, and how did I get here again?

Can I climb trees like that?

Is there any food?

But I guess a lot of you think I’m being too harsh and not giving the dog enough credit.

And I suppose you’re right. At least the dog has enough sense to know that even though it’s transparent, he can’t walk through a glass door.

I’ve had party guests who don’t know that, much to their chagrin and the door’s.

The beauty of being a dog, or any animal, for that matter is that it’s a very instinctive, very intuitive being. It doesn’t give a lot of thought to things…it just does things.

When it’s hungry it eats. When it’s sleepy it sleeps and when it’s happy it licks your face…much like my old college roommate, whose records are still sealed.

On the other hand, we—the thinkers and analyzers of the world—can’t do anything without picking it apart.

“I wonder how much fiber is in that cupcake?”

A dog sniffs the cupcake…eats the cupcake…takes a nap.

We walk by a mirror and think…my ass is huge….

A dog walks by a mirror and thinks…there’s that hairy thing again…

We get invited out and think…do I really feel like going out…is it raining…is it cold… do I want Italian or Chinese?

A dog gets invited out, at any time, in any weather, and thinks…ahhhhhhhh…that’s better. Is there anything to eat?

If your boss asks you to take a seat, you, think…uh oh… what’s this about?

If you tell your dog to “Sit”, it thinks…

For the rest of the story, or to just kill a couple of more minutes while you’re waiting for your dog to fetch your slippers or at least finish chewing on them...please Click Here....

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