One Year After Maren Sanchez Tragedy, Milford Turns Grief to Compassion

By Brian McCready, Milford Patch Editor

Milford’s official motto is the “Small City with a Big Heart” and that heart was damaged at 7:43 a.m. on April 25, 2014, with the death of Jonathan Law Junior Class President Maren Sanchez.

She was 16.

On that exact date and time, Sanchez died after being stabbed in the stairwell at the Lansdale Avenue high school. Fellow classmate Christopher Plaskon, then 16, is accused of killing Sanchez after she rejected his overtures to go with him to prom, scheduled for that evening. His criminal case is still pending.

In the days, weeks, months, and now a year later, the city’s official motto has been put to the test like never before, and leaders in Milford say as a result of the tragedy the community has never been closer and more compassionate toward each other.

“It’s no secret Milford is a ‘City of Compassion,’” said Kathryn Bonetti, a Miford parent and Board of Education spokeswoman. “After all, we are a ‘Small City with a Big Heart.’”

Superintendent of Schools Elizabeth Feser said she believes communities can be defined by important moments that have lasting effects no one could ever anticipate.

“I believe in many ways the community is a lot more mindful of the importance of kindness and being a community,” Feser said. “They take note of each other and watch out for each other. We’ve become a more caring community.”

A Celebration of Maren Sanchez’s Life

That is why on April 25, 2015, the Milford community will once again come together and celebrate the life and legacy of Maren Sanchez. All day at Jonathan Law High, there will be “Peace, Love, and Music, From Maren” to highlight all of the things that she loved most.

Jonathan Law Principal Fran Thompson, who is credited by many for keeping the Law community united and able to endure the tragedy, said he consulted with Maren’s mother, Donna Cimarelli-Sanchez, about what the community should do one year later. Thompson introduced the phrase “Milford Strong,” which became a rallying cry for residents.

Thompson said Cimarelli-Sanchez wanted to ensure that the community had a place to go on April 25 but she was adamant that it had to be a day of fun and not a sad, somber event.

“Donna is a very positive, wonderful human being. Through her own grief she continues to worry about the kids,” Thompson said of Maren’s mother. “It’s not going to be a sad day; it will be a fun day, a day for kids to smile and to talk about Maren.

“Maren’s mom really wants the community to celebrate everything Maren loved.”

A 5K run, art, music, bands, food trucks, kickball, a bouncy house and fun zone for youths will all be part of the celebration, which runs from 9:30 a.m. until 5 p.m. Sanchez’s family and friends will be present. Law students who have gone on to college are returning home to attend.

Everything for the day has been donated by the community and all proceeds raised go to the Maren Sanchez Scholarship Fund for graduating high school seniors. Colony Grill is sponsoring the event.

“It will be a yearly event to keep Maren’s memory alive,” Thompson said. “We’re trying to keep the day positive. It’s going to be a very tough week, but this is about what an amazing and powerful impact she had on us all. Maren brought us all closer together.”

The superintendent said Cimarelli-Sanchez has been instrumental in the Law and Milford communities healing.

“When I heard what Donna wanted Saturday’s event to be like, I smiled and I thought it’s another tribute to Maren and a reflection of who her mother is,” Feser said. “The fact that she wants it to be a celebration of Maren’s life, what an incredible gift to the community that is… I hope the community comes out.”

Milford Mayor Benjamin G. Blake said it’s clear that “Maren was so special.”

“From teachers to students and everyone in the community, they all had special stories and terrific experiences with Maren, and that made the loss even more difficult,” Blake said.

Legacy of Love

The healing hasn’t been easy.

In the days immediately following Sanchez’s death the community was stunned. News media from all over the globe descended on the community.

Everyone wanted to know the whys and the hows of what happened. But what ended up coming to light was the kind of person Maren Sanchez was, and how despite only being 16 years of age, she touched the lives of so many through her acts of kindness and love.

One of Sanchez’s closest friends, Giovanni Marzullo recalled a story involving Maren. One day after returning from New York City, they saw a police officer who appeared glum. Sanchez started singing a song to cheer up the officer, Marzullo recited last year.

Close friend Evelyn Castro said Sanchez was always the “glass is half full” kind of person.

“Maren was completely fearless,” Castro said last year. “… she had a beautiful charismatic way of life. I am the way I am today because of her. She was my best friend.”

Feser said that after Sanchez’s death she heard numerous anecdotes about Maren’s generosity.

“A cafeteria worker told me Maren would go through the line everyday and ask her how she was doing,” Feser said. “A custodian told me Maren would just chat with him to see how he was, and he told me Maren had this gift of making everyone feel important.”

Feser said that in the year since Sanchez’s death she’s heard people remark at times, “What would Maren Sanchez do in a situation like this?”

“Maren was exceptional in her humanity,” Feser said.

‘Her Life was a Miracle’

Sanchez was a tennis player at Law, co-manager of the school’s swim and softball teams; she organized the junior class prom, was an honors student, member of the school’s drama club, an avid guitar player and photographer, and she enjoyed singing.

But all of those things don’t do justice to the legacy of love and kindness Maren left behind, according to those who knew her best.

Law students, who were supposed to be celebrating the junior prom on April 25, 2014, decided to memorialize Sanchez that night by attending an impromptu vigil for their classmate at Walnut Beach. In an iconic photo, all of the students wore their prom dresses and gowns and held Sanchez’s prom dress as they posed.

In the days following her death, schools across the state honored Sanchez by wearing her favorite color purple. Students at the University of Connecticut painted a rock in honor of Sanchez. Joseph A. Foran High School students did the same.

Sanchez loved to sing and covered American Idol winner Phillip Phillips hit song “Home.” When news of Sanchez’s death reached the singer, he wrote on social media, “Just watched her cover of ‘Home.’ Very talented girl. Heart breaking.”

Sanchez’s cover of “Home” has more than 120,000 views. Sanchez’s friend, Rachel Escobar wrote a song honoring Sanchez, which includes a photo slideshow of her life, and it has been viewed 12,000 times. (The slideshow and song can be seen and heard below)

Gov. Dannel P. Malloy attended and spoke at a city-wide vigil that attracted 2,000 people.

“Maren was someone who moved people … she could move mountains,” Malloy said at the ceremony. “She was all of the things that we want ourselves to be. Her death is a tragedy but her life was a miracle.”

It’s not surprising that her wake and vigil attracted thousands of mourners, people who simply wanted to come together and be there for one another.

Sherry Johnson and her daughter Katie, 16, who attends Joseph A. Foran High School, didn’t know Maren personally, but on the day of her wake they felt inspired to do something to show their support for Maren. They decided to put purple ribbons around every tree on the Green. They were 90 minutes into it and they still had not finished.

“As a community, it’s important for the family to see the support,” Johnson said at the time.

Call for Action

Out of Maren’s death came a call for action. In October, Milford officially became a “City of Compassion.” The initiative was led by Maren’s mother, Cimarelli-Sanchez, and Jade Ramos. The Board of Aldermen approved the proclamation, but in reality a proclamation is just a piece of paper, and what transcends it are the actions of people.

What makes this proclamation different is that it wasn’t just a few people who stepped up to show compassion. It was an entire community.

“In the days following the tragedy at Jonathan Law High School last year, the wounds left behind for so many of us were deep – but I can honestly say they are slowly, but surely, healing a little bit more with every passing day,” said Bonetti. “The kindness and compassion exhibited over the past year has been truly astounding.”

Acts of Compassion Since Last Year; Comfort to Jonathan Law

In the days immediately following the tragedy, there were constant messages, donations, and efforts brought to the Law community. The Binky Patrol of Southern Connecticut, a group of volunteers who make blankets for communities facing incomprehensible crisis, prepared 192 comfort blankets, one for each member of the Junior Class at Law. The blankets were presented to the entire class at an assembly in May.

The pop Group “A Great Big World” came to Law to give a private show to the entire student body.

After being delayed for a few weeks, the juniors were able to join together at their prom. Dozens of local businesses donated their time and provided free services on a Sunday for students who were attending the prom later in the day. Salon folks, massage-therapists, make-up artists, and food vendors brought their wares to the Law gym where the kids relaxed and prepared for their night out.

A central character of all activity surrounding the students at Law was found in the form of a dog – a very special dog named Spartacus.

This therapy-dog Akita has become a part of the fabric at the high school. Spartacus attended the prom (decked out in a purple bow tie), and led the Class of 2014 procession down the hill at Graduation in June. He continues to be a pivotal part of life at Jonathan Law.

After Sanchez’s death, students at Law held up signs spelling out, “Jarrod, will you go to the prom with us?” Students were trying to comfort Jarrod Butts, who was Sanchez’s boyfriend at the time.

The Jonathan Law High School Drama Club presented their performances of Little Shop of Horrors as scheduled and dedicated them to Sanchez’s memory. Prior to the performance dates, they created a new show poster that was printed on a background of purple. Sanchez was a member of the drama club.

Time for Laughter

As school neared its closing last year, the seniors at Law knew some laughter was desperately needed.

After working with several “secret accomplices” at school, the front parking lot was turned into a new beach in Milford. Several truckloads of sand, volleyball nets, beach chairs, and more were brought in to give everyone a much-needed chance to laugh.

At the same time, another prank took shape – in the form of Principal Thompson’s office chair “mysteriously” missing. Turned out the chair was held for “ransom” – and oddly enough appeared in various places around town with pictures posted on various social media outlets (including the school newspaper, the Jonathan Law Advocate) during its travels.

It was clear this harmless activity was just what the school community at Law needed.

Maren’s Garden

In the late fall, a special garden was donated by a local landscaping firm to permanently give recognition to Maren and to provide a beautiful, quiet place of reflection for the students at the school.

The garden features various purple flowers (Maren’s favorite color), with lush greenery and a beautiful, custom stained glass piece with wind chimes that adorn the corner of the building.The dedication of Maren’s Garden officially opened this space last fall that has become a thoughtful, beautiful place for students to enjoy. The continued and permanent upkeep of garden space has also been donated.

Kindness Grows in Milford

The multitude of Acts of Kindness in Milford have become ever-present. Since last year, here are just a few of the hundreds of projects that have been launched.

Martin Luther King’s Day of Service 2015: In January, the city and the school district partnered with a number of local foundations to present A Day of Service. Students were encouraged to do a kind act or offer a personal gift of service to those in need. The Day of Service was extremely well accepted and will continue to be a part of the annual City of Milford calendar.

• One City, One Story – WONDER: In February, another collaboration between the city and the school district was announced – the One City, One Story project. All of the residents in Milford have been called upon to read the citywide selection for 2015: Wonder by R.J. Palacio.The story centers on 5th-grade student Auggie Pullman, a child who has a serious facial deformity (among other challenges). Upon entering public school for the first time (he had previously been home-schooled), the book focuses on the journey he makes throughout his 5th grade year. It is a story of compassion, empathy, kindness, and resiliency and written in a truly authentic style.
• A wide variety of activities have been planned in conjunction with the citywide read. Some of the activities connected to the Citywide Read involve acts of kindness:
• Kindness Hearts (people can write observed acts of kindness on blue hearts which will later be posted around the city)
• Book Discussions/Classroom projects: Kids are talking about being kind in the classroom and learning about the result of kind acts.
• Several programs are in the works – author visits, book discussions, open mic nights, and much more in the weeks to come.
• Purple Coneflower Project: In celebration of the Eastern Purple Coneflower being named as the Official Flower of the City of Milford, the Open Space group collaborated with the Milford Garden Club, the Robert Treat Nursery, and others. They will be presenting every kindergarten student with a free, home-grown Purple Coneflower plant which is a perennial. Kids will be giving their moms/grandmothers, etc., this plant around Mother’s Day and the flower will come with directions on how to plant and care for it.

Milford Prevention Council Director Wendy Gibbons is coordinating Milford’s “City of Compassion Charter.” Gibbon said it’s so important to teach youths the importance of performing acts of compassion because science shows people feel good when doing selfless activities for others.

Papa’s Pizza was the first business to sign onto the the compassion campaign. Already 20 businesses have signed the charter. They created the Pizza Di Maren, and donated $5 of every pizza sold to the Maren Sanchez Scholarship Fund. Thousands of dollars have been raised.

Scholarships will be given to both students at Law and Joseph A. Foran High School. Businesses have been donating liberally to the cause.

“It’s snowballed,” Gibbons said of the business community’s generosity. “We continue to create a call to action to be compassionate.”

“We’re working to ensure it sustains and it’s not just a proclamation,” Gibbons said of the compassion charter. “It needs to be a call to action. Maren touched so many lives … everyone has rallied and come together.”

Random Acts of Kindness

Flip Hair Salon Owner Frank Sisbarro, who operates his business adjacent to Law, created a wig for a woman who was battling cancer. Antelope Web has created free websites for Milford’s non-profits, the Pilate’s Center of Milford taught Boys & Girls Club of Milford youths pilates for free.

“So many people wanted to do something and this is a vehicle for all of that energy,” Gibbons said.

“This community is so supportive of each other, the parents, students, businesses, there has been an incredible outpouring of support,” Thompson said. “Maren touched so many lives.

Blake said the business community has been leading the compassion initiative, and ensuring everyone who needs support gets it.

“For everyone who knew Maren, it’s something that will stay with them the rest of their lives,” Blake said.

Lasting Changes at Law

Thompson, who is in his fourth year as Law’s principal, said he and Maren came into the school together. Thompson said he hasn’t had to time to dwell on the tragedy and his priority is always to keep supporting the staff and students at the school.

“There is absolutely no playbook on how to deal with a tragedy like this,” Thompson said. “You didn’t know what to expect.”

But things have changed at Law.

“There is a heightened awareness of each other,” Thompson said. “If someone is having a tough day, it’s different now. People are more positive and more supportive of one another. It’s more intentional and more heightened. I want to keep that going. Everyone keeps an eye on each other, it’s been that way consistently. If someone is having a tough day people will ask what they can do to help. If someone falls down someone else lends a hand.”

He said the changes at Law are a real way of keeping “Maren’s legacy going.”

“Maren did bring the community together,” Blake said. “The hope is she made the city of Milford a kinder, more compassionate community.”