Living a Civil Life

Last summer, I read a book I got from our library entitled, The Civility Solution: what to do when people are rude by P.M. Forni.

I enjoyed reading it, thought it had some good ideas on how to react to rudeness and I particularly liked his eight rules to live a civil life. Then the fall soccer season began and during the first game, the referee failed to call a foul that led to a goal by the other team. I along with some others berated the ref on the non-call. My wife Ellen reminded me that long ago I was a referee and wondered how I would feel out on the field that day.

The rest of the game, I held my tongue in check and afterwards remembered those eight rules by PM Forni. I encourage you to check out his book and print out his eight rules. It might help you the next time someone cuts you off, speaks rudely to you, or the ref doesn't make the call that you perfectly saw from the sidelines.

Here are his 8 rules to help us:

1. Slow down and be present in your life.
2. Listen to the voice of empathy.
3. Keep a positive attitude.
4. Respect others and grant them plenty of validation.
5. Disagree graciously and refrain from arguing.
6. Get to know the people around you.
7. Pay attention to the small things.
8. Ask, don’t tell.

From P. M. Forni's book, The Civility Solution, p. 29.