The Gambler

I had a moment the other day when I was tempted to go back to my lower paying job. It was a rough week and I wanted to cry at the end of it. After work, I went over to my old office to do some side work for them and was happy to do something that I understood very well. As I was blowing through the tasks with great ease, it occurred to me that I couldn't do that at my new job yet. I left with an ill feeling that maybe I should throw in the towel and go back to what worked for me.

However, as I drove home, I remembered the cost of doing the "easy" job. Did I want to go back to getting only what I needed to pay the bills? Could I deal with tracking hours again and worrying about every hour not worked? Was I happy with cheap (but bad) health insurance indefinitely? The answer to all three queries was a definitive NO! If I kept on trucking through every bad spot, I would get real health insurance in three months, accrue sick days, get paid holidays and earn vacation time for the next year. And if I grasped the procedures and skills that I needed to do the job effectively, my goal of getting the next notch in my accounting career would be accomplished.

In life, we are always faced with the inevitable question of whether to take a risk.  I am reminded of the old song from Kenny Rogers:

You gotta know when to hold’em;

Know when to fold’em;

Know when to walk away;

Know when to run.

I spoke with an old colleague yesterday and she was very helpful in calming my frayed nerves. No one expects perfection in two weeks. You have to stumble before you learn how to walk. And no two people ever do things exactly the same way. This exposes the flaws in another person's system and opens the door to correct it.

If the circumstances were terribly difficult (i.e. I knew nothing going in), quietly walking away would be an option. However, I know what the job entails and can grasp the skills in my mind. Getting them perfected in action is the frustration. By walking away (or running), I am giving up the opportunity to expand my skills and make my future brighter. I need the frustration to force my mind to learn new things and retain them. So I keep on truckin' ...