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Health & Fitness

Alice in the Land of Disbelief

And so the Queen of Hearts went down under to try to get some attention. With her she brought her court: the jester, her lady in waiting and the eunuch.

Pounding her scepter to the ground, the demented Queen demanded that the trio be sentenced. “Off with their heads!” She shrieked, while the jester, rocking side to side on her ample bottom, giggled and jiggled. “They’re heads should be off, their heads would be off!”

The trio (Alice, the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat) stared across at the group. “So sorry your Highness, did not mean to offend,” started Alice, “but the time has come for you to take your poison and go. You have no power here and should leave before others know you still are about.”

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The evil Queen glared at her, turned abruptly around and her group formed a huddle. Whispering and looking back over their shoulders, the four argued and cackled. A few evil laughs, and more whispering, then they eventually the huddle broke and shoulder to shoulder they lined up to face the trio.

“What if I told the others that you are the evil ones, and that only I know the secret to get to the treasure,” challenged the Queen.

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Emboldened by their huddle, the lady in waiting piped in, “I will tell them, I will tell them all! You can’t stop me! They think I’m their friend, and I can do whatever I like, I know because -“

“Enough!” warned the Queen in her shrill voice. “You have said enough! Do not forget your role, lady in waiting, you are to do only what I tell you – and when I tell you!”

The evil Queen’s entourage reacted to the scolding; the lady in waiting fought back her tears, the jester nervously giggled, and the eunuch looked at the ground as if struck.

Turning to the trio – the Queen smirked, “Now this is what power is; I can control my people, they will always do my bidding. Cheshire Cat, you should take a lesson, and try to get your underlings in line. That is why I deserve a bigger share of the treasure than the rest. It is only natural that one’s betters get more of the riches.”

The Cheshire Cat just grinned at the Mad Queen. The White Rabbit, never one to seek conflict, found his courage. “Listen here Queen of Hearts, we are not evil, we did nothing wrong. We take guidance from the others, and act upon their wishes. The treasure belongs to all of us, not just one or two and we are sworn to rescue it.”

The evil Queen sidled up to the White Rabbit, and using her girth, nudged her aside. “Well, White Rabbit. Your family must be so proud of you. No one has challenged me since your cousin, Black Rabbit.” Raising her arm, she brushed the White Rabbit with a charm that was dangling from her scepter. The black mass of the charm was indistinguishable at first, then all recognized the threat. “You know what a slave to fashion I am, I must get a white foot for balance and to see if my luck holds out.”

White Rabbit nearly fainted at the sight.

The Evil Queen continued taunting White Rabbit with her scepter – until Alice had enough. “Be gone Evil Queen, we are no longer your captive audience – go and find some others to try to lord over.”

With an elaborate about face, and holding her scepter high, the Evil Queen led the other cackling idiots away from the garden. Releasing a great sigh of relief, Alice, the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat stood basking in the sun, enjoying its warmth and the silence that enveloped them.

“You know she’ll be back”, the Cheshire Cat finally spoke.

“Yes, we know, and we’ll be here to stop her when she comes,” assured Alice. Nervously, the White Rabbit looked around. Smiling, Alice took the White Rabbit’s hand and led her away.

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