Have patience with the disbursal of money donated in response to 12/14

Since 12/14, Newtown has benefited from countless acts of kindness, and many of them involve financial donations. As of today, there’s about $10M in an undesignated fund administered by the United Way of Western Connecticut and Newtown Savings Bank. Neither of these organizations is taking a dime, and some folks think it’s taking too long for the money to be distributed.

But do you remember Aesop’s fable about the Tortoise and the Hare?  The Tortoise was slow and steady, and you know who won that race.

In the last 3 months, we’ve learned about generosity. We’ve also learned lessons from those who were shattered by heinous acts of violence, and we’ve been cautioned to proceed carefully.

Every tragedy is different:  At Columbine, it took 8 years to create a memorial, but high school Principal DeAngelis said it was worth the wait for the peaceful, outdoor site. In Aurora, donations were quickly disbursed, and now there’s limited support for mental health counseling.  At Virginia Tech, memorials were hastily erected, and the campus administrators keep their office blinds down to avoid the sad views.  In their case, darkness permeates their every day existence.

In Newtown’s case, the Sandy Hook School Support Fund was intentionally undesignated so the people of Newtown could figure out just what their community needs. The question is, who knows what Newtown will need?  The answer?  Absolutely no one.

Many of the financial costs of 12/14 are incalculable and long lasting, and both the state and federal government have their own budget woes.  So who will shoulder the burden?  Maybe you, maybe me; it’s difficult to predict.  In the meantime, here’s a partial list of some of the unbudgeted costs.  We’ll look at this in David Letterman style, only there’s nothing funny about it:

#10: Security for families, funerals, crime scenes, and traffic.

#9: Care of the makeshift memorials and donations of goods that arrived from caring people around the world.

#8: Fixing up Chalk Hill to become the interim Sandy Hook Elementary School, in admirable style.

#7: Extra educators, counselors, and transportation costs to bus the kids to Monroe.

#6: Security and safety for our schools, including police officers.  Plans of structural changes for some of the buildings, particularly the entrances, may be forthcoming.

#5: Healing through the arts, play, spirituality, physical activity, and community gatherings in efforts to prevent isolation and depression.

#4: A memorial.  Among other things, the cost will depend on land use and acquisition. Columbine’s memorial maintenance costs are currently $10-15,000 per year.  Ideally, a trust would be created.

#3: Grief counseling by both mental health professionals and medical practitioners, both in Newtown and beyond for 50 years, give or take. Grief knows no zip codes.  It is unpredictable, and it takes form in many ways, but the mind, body, spirit connection is undeniable.

#2: An idyllic elementary school in Sandy Hook, on new or existing town property.  Guesstimates are up to $30,000,000.

#1: Those directly affected.

The last one, #1, is especially tricky. Who’s directly affected?  Is it the family members of the deceased, the injured, the 99 who work at Sandy Hook School, the children who survived, the first responders, friends, loved ones, clergy, funeral directors, neighbors, state examiners, bus drivers, dance teachers, sports coaches…where does it end? If only money could heal the broken hearts.

As an extended community, there are many who struggle. We buy green bracelets, we hug, we cry randomly or when we hear, “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” Some are angry; some are silent. My neighbor can’t stop eating Hershey Kisses; my students complain about nightmares.  Children panic at the sound of slamming car doors.

With emotions high, the pressure is heating up to distribute the Sandy Hook School Support Fund, but we can trust that Monsignor Weiss, Ben Spragg, Attorney Ragusa, Joseph DiCandido, and Dr. Herrick will wisely lead the way.

If hearings are scheduled, let us gather, engage in respectful dialogue, listen, and learn from one another.  This won’t be easy, but, as William Penn, founder of the Province of Pennsylvania said, “Patience and diligence, like faith, move mountains.”

A big pile of money, grief, anger and good intentions are a dangerous cocktail.  Given the ingredients, we may want to add 26 cups of, “We Choose Love.” Have faith: our collective patience will pay off.  I promise.