Poison Ivy Finds Its Patch

The old adage "out of sight, out of mind" never proves truer than with poison ivy.

If you haven't had it in a while or have never gotten it, it's pretty easy to bound gleefully through the woods barefooted, or haul out those pesky vines from around a favorite tree without looking for the three shiny leaves. How quickly we forget.

I had some pretty wicked cases of poison ivy as a kid. A particularly vivid memory is having to play in a Little League game with one eye partially swollen shut because of the malevolent plant's effects, and my teamates calling me a freak. Ahh, youth.

But on a trip out to Fisher's Island earlier this summer, I was blissfully removed from any thoughts of poisonous vines. I was just excited to make it to the Pequot with its cool beverages and light-up, 70s-style dance floor.

Fast forward 24 hours. I'm now at my ten-year high school reunion (which sort of gives away my age, but hey) and a few felllow classmates have commented that my right eye looks like I've been punched. Not recalling any brawl from the previous evening, I start to get concerned. Frankly, it was starting to feel a little tender and itchy, too.

The next morning I wake up to my right eye swollen shut and weeping a bit. If you're a masochist, you can check out the accompanying picture. From the odd amber-colored liquid coming out of the sore and rabidly itchy mound on my face, I finally figured out what was wrong with me - I had poison ivy. And I had it bad.

I'll spare everyone the gory details (well, not entirely). Essentially, I was reduced to lying on the floor of my childhood bedroom in my parents' house for a few days, trying desperately not to scratch the skin off of the 50 percent of my body covered in inch-high boils. When my willpower failed and I was contemplating finding an especially high structure and jumping from it, I turned to drugs; prescription drugs, of course, and just about any other wives' tale, home remedy, or over-the-counter solution anyone could offer, no matter what the price.

In the end, some worked and some didn't. But all of the relief provided was temporary and, when you get as badly as I did, all you can do is wait the two or three weeks for it to clear up. And that's how long it takes - two or three weeks. At least.

In the meantime, friends, I submit to you personal clinical trials so that if you have the misfortune of finding your way into a patch of the oil-filled fescue, perhaps you can separate the myths from what actually helps.

1. Get the oil off right away. And don't use soap to do it.

You may not have any idea you've come in contact with poison ivy and that's the worst. I, for instance, fell into a patch without knowing it (beats me how that happened) and had it on my skin for about 12 hours. I even woke up with it still on my hands and rubbed my eyes heartily to greet the day...and so, unwittingly, ensured that I couldn't see the daylight again for another week until the ensuing swelling went down.

If you even remotely suspect that you've brushed the stuff, clean yourself and your clothes immediately. And don't use soap. It can actually spread the urushiol (the active ingredient in the ivy that causes rashes).

Instead, get a product like Tecnu that is specifically designed to remove the oils. Wash your clothes in hot water and as many times as will make you feel like they're clean (for me, this has been about 85 and counting). Tecnu even makes a product you can put on your clothes and skin if you think you're headed into poison ivy territory. I haven't tested that out...and don't plan to.

2. Once you know you have it...

Pray.

Or if you're not religious, or prefer to aid your respective deity's good will, here are a few options that you should try right away. They can save you a good week or two on your recovery.

• Zanfel - the single greatest product known to man. It nearly saved my life. It is a slightly abrasive cream you rub into a paste in your hands and then apply by rubbing (you get to scratch! the ecstasy!) on the affected areas. Even when the itching is at its peak, Zanfel can just about totally quell it for four to six hours. And if applied early enough, it supposedly can make the rash disappear faster (I found out after the fact). The downside is the makers of Zanfel are marketing geniuses and know that when you're stricken with a bad case of ivy, you are willing to pay any price to make the itching stop. And they've priced it accordingly at $40 per small tube. I used two during my bout. Still entirely worth it.
• Steroids - not to be used lightly. But if you know you have it or are going to have it bad, you almost have no choice. Corticosteroids (don't worry, not the stuff that builds muscle and ruins athletes) are excellent in suppressing the poison ivy's effects, helping you to heal faster and keep the inflammation down as much as possible. I took Prednisone and it's pretty nasty stuff - makes you wickedly hungry (I ate six Klondikes a day at my peak and don't even like ice cream), keeps you from sleeping, gives you mood swings, makes you loopy, and if you're on it long enough, you have to wean yourself off slowly or you can die. That said, they really are helpful. I took a short course of them and my poison ivy case was so bad that it rebounded when I went off them. You do need a prescription for them. And you can use topical steroids, as well, but they're not quite as effective.
• Salt water - aside from Zanfel and steroids, salt water helped me the most. And it's free. If you're lucky enough to live by the ocean, I'd advise going in as much as possible. The water cools and eases the rash, the salt helps dry it out, and swimming around actually gets your mind off it and makes you feel somewhat normal again. That is, until you catch a glimpse of your reflection and almost pass out from the horror. Pool water (chlorine dries, too) works, but I wouldn't head to the YMCA with your rash and expect that to work out great with other bathers and staff.
• Hot water - for as bad as the itching can get, there is truly almost no feeling better in the world than running a poison ivy rash under hot water. Those who have done it before know what I'm talking about. It is incredible. It's not good for the poison ivy at all, as it can cause further inflammation. But it also can provide much-needed relief for short periods of time. 
• Zyrtec/Claritin - antihistamines can lessen the itching. And, more importantly, they make you drowsy. So when the steroids and itching are keeping you up at night, antihistamines can help you get some rest...until you wake up when they wear off and are plunged back mercilessly into your suffering.

3. Myths

There are almost too many poison ivy myths to name. Let's handle some in a quick list.

• You CANNOT spread poison ivy by itching it, biggest wives' tale in the book. The only time you can spread it is by moving the urushiol oil around on your skin. So if you're a few days into your case of ivy, and have showered and are not still sitting in the same clothes in which you got it, don't worry about spreading it. However, do note that if you get a systemic infection (where you have it so bad it's in your bloodstream - what I had) that you can and will keep breaking out for a week or more. And that's where the praying comes in, typically.
• Bleach - don't use it. It hurts like heck and it can scar you. And it doesn't work. Some people swear that if you cut open the poison ivy sores and pour bleach in them, they go away. About 99 out of 100 of theses same people are clinically insane.
• Calamine lotion, while it does help dry the rash out toward the end of its run, is essentially useless. It provides no relief, it turns you pink, and sometimes it actually hurts.
• Aloe/oatmeal baths/cool compresses/baking soda/banana peels/etc. - useful for nothing other than taking your mind off how badly the itching continues when they don't work. Borderline useless, for me anyway.
• Scars - though some of the rash will take a very long time to heal (I still have very small patches of skin discoloration over a month later), poison ivy generally doesn't scar. Of course, you may not want to test that by scratching the heck out of it until it heals. You can also get creams to use to get rid of any skin discoloration more quickly.
• It is not contagious unless you still have the oil on your skin or clothing. However, the oil can stay on things for an indefinite period of time if they're not cleaned.
• Immunity. Some people do apparently have it. Here's the catch - it can disappear at any time and sometimes weakens in adulthood. So just because you've never gotten it, don't test it out.
• Yes, people are going to make fun of you. Yes, you're going to have to deal with it. Yes, when they get it eventually, remember all the mean things they said to you - and return the favor.

4. Timetable.

Recovery time can vary depending on the person and the severity of the case. Most smaller cases, such as a patch on an arm or a leg, will last about a week and fade quickly.

If you get a bad case, though, you're in for it. Expect at least two weeks for it to stop itching and oozing, and another week or two beyond that for the actual rash to disappear.

And if you're lucky, like I was, and get a systemic infection? You can still be breaking out two weeks into the infection if it goes untreated. This is when you almost have to take steroids. Even with their help, and using all the other methods mentioned here, you're going to have a solid month until it disappears.

Yes, it's that gross and long. No, you can't do anything about it.

4. When you're healing...

• Continue going in salt water. It really is miraculous stuff.
• Do everything you can to dry out the remaining rash - this is when using calamine lotion works.
• When you're lucid enough again, after steroids and antihistamines and ice cream binges and sleepless nights, read up on the stuff on the Poison Ivy boards. The one linked to here is particularly good. Weird as it sounds, I spent much of the time I had it reading about it on the Internet and finding out how much worse others have had it before me. It actually is somewhat comforting.
• Know that you won't be like this forever. This sounds weird, too, but there are points at which you feel like you'll never be normal again. Don't worry. You'll heal.
• Most importantly - never get it again.