Dr. Charles Stanley: Remembrances of a friend and man of God

Yesterday, the world lost—and Heaven gained—Dr. Charles Stanley. To the world, he was one of the best known and effective evangelists of all time, the pastor at the First Baptist Church of Atlanta for nearly half a century, and the founder of In Touch Ministries, which took his heartfelt, Bible-based teachings across the globe. To me, he was a friend and a mentor, someone who played a critical role in my life time and again. From our first meeting and for many years after, my connection to him was one I believe to have been orchestrated by God. Dr. Stanley was a source of guidance and inspiration from the start of our friendship. He never let me down, and when I was talking to him, I knew I was talking to a man of true faith.

Our lives are all challenging. We are all human, and as such, we are all imperfect. I for one am a terrible sinner, something I freely admit in our broken world. But every once in a while, God reminds us of who we really are—His children—and that while we will all stumble, fall, and fail time and time again, He gives us grace along the way.

Sometimes that grace takes on the form of another human being, someone He sends to help lift us all up and personify the high ideals to which we all must strive. For me, Dr. Stanley was just such a man, and he appeared right when I needed him most.

In 2009, I was going through what was then the most trying time of my adult life up to that point. I had moved to The Bahamas to sell island properties for my mentor, William B. Johnson, the founder of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company. I adored the man, and until that point, he was like a second father to me.

Times were tough, and the real estate market had tanked. We were in a hopeless downward spiral that saw no light at the end of the tunnel. That era, called “The Great Recession” by many, saw the fall of Bernie Madoff, and countless real estate developers and investors going under and some even committing suicide. I had worked very hard to achieve the impossible and had gone so far as to work a full three months without pay and spent more than $30,000 of my own money in travel and other expenses just to stay afloat and help the cause.

It was probably foolish, looking back on those events, but I’m a loyal person and my mentor— “Mr. Bill,” as I called him—had paid for my entire college education and given me a job at 23 making $80,400 a year just out of college. I felt an obligation to him and believed I should try to make the best of the situation as long as I could.

As I sat on the dock one foggy misty morning at Orchid Bay on Great Guana Cay in Abaco, preparing my daily set-up of an easel with map of the property, a man with a hat walked up, string under his chin, and very kindly said, “What is that you are preparing?” The voice sounded all too familiar.

We spoke for a few moments, and he soon introduced himself as Charles. I asked Charles his last name, and he said “Stanley.” After a few seconds of thought I asked the gray-headed gentlemen if he was “the Charles Stanley,” and he replied something along the lines of , “Well, I guess so, as that’s my name.” I said further, “the pastor Charles Stanley?” and he laughed. “I suppose so,” he said. I had been listening to him share the Gospel on the radio for several years.

What was most interesting to me was not that he was “the Charles Stanley,” but that he had been the longtime pastor of my mentor, Mr. Bill, and was so for many years before they had parted ways over disagreements in the Church, a story about which I knew some details. Dr. Stanley had been so close to my mentor at one point that he saw Mr. Bill’s most prized equine He’s Puttin’ On the Ritz win the Tennessee Walking Horse Two-Year-Old World Grand Championship in person alongside him in 1992. He knew all the ins and outs of Mr. Bill, and gave me some great insight.

I asked Dr. Stanley if he would pray with me, and he agreed, telling me to come later to the house where he was staying. At the appointed time, however, he wasn’t there. About 30 minutes later, he finally arrived. He had fallen asleep on the beach, he said, and told me that God sent a rain cloud amidst the bright sun and clear skies to pour on him, wake him up and send him back to the house to pray with me. That day we saw the hand of God more clearly and directly than I can ever convey in words.

I have always been a man of faith but was more afraid at that time than I'd ever been as a grown adult and I truly believe God sent him to that island to help me. I was desperate, lonely, broken, and had no plan regarding what to do. I was in a foreign country and had barely just enough money to buy a plane ticket home to the U.S. – roughly $600. Dr. Stanley told me to have faith and to go home and wait. And so, I did. That event led to a far greater set of circumstances that set me on the course I am on today and helped make me the man I am today.

But that wasn’t the only time Dr. Stanley proved a source of divine guidance. Four years later, I faced a far greater challenging time in life, as I had built a business of my own centered around construction in the horse industry and had also been elected to serve as the president of the Tennessee Walking Horse Breeders' & Exhibitors' Association. After two years, and a series of events that led to a national expose on ABC Nightline detailing the most egregious of abuses in the equine world – the 50-year plague of ‘soring’ of Tennessee Walking Horses, I felt a calling to speak out publicly against the practice I had witnessed since childhood and to support the Prevent All Soring Tactics (PAST) Act.

I called Dr. Stanley and asked if I could come to Atlanta and talk and pray with him. He agreed, and a few days later we met at In Touch in his office. We prayed long and hard, and I left that day to return home to Murfreesboro, Tennessee. The choices I made next led to the destruction of my own life, my business, my marriage, and so much more, but I knew what I was doing was the right thing, and Dr. Stanley's support and encouragement helped give me the faith to press onward and upward to follow God's plan and purpose for me.

Those events subsequently led me to Washington, D.C. where I have been for the past 10 years. I was just thinking about Dr. Stanley the past few days, and I watched a few clips of his sermons Tuesday morning. Every time I would talk with Dr. Stanley he would tell me, "Now Marty, listen," and he would spread his index finger and middle finger apart, depicting two paths, a fork in the road. He'd say, "You can go Marty's way, or you can go God's way, and the choice is yours, but the path that God wants you to go down will never lead you astray, and I think you know what to do." No truer words have ever been spoken to me, and they apply today amidst a major choice I recently made, and a new road that has been very, very tough. But thanks to Dr. Stanley, I know I am walking down God’s path and not my own.

I wish I had more space to share some of the many stories that Dr. Stanley shared with me. The one he shared about how his grandfather was supernaturally protected from gunfire aimed right at him while his church was burned to the ground. Another, when Dr. Stanley was in college praying for discernment about becoming a pastor, God at that moment sent several shooting stars across the sky, after he’d prayed for a clear sign from above. But nothing I can write will truly do those stories justice, except to say that Charles Stanley taught me how to pray, he taught me how to ask for God to speak loudly and clearly to me, and he taught me how to listen, a man who often has things fall upon his own deaf ears. And his advice and kindness have served me so well to help fulfill the Glory of Christ.

Yesterday, when I learned that Dr. Stanley had been called home to Heaven, I soon saw a share graphic with a few words of his wisdom: "We will finally—and permanently—be 'at home' in a way that defies description" once our time on earth is done. Today, I hope we will all do a little more to help others, be a little kinder, and follow God a little closer in honor of this great man. I am glad to know he is now watching over us as well.

May you rest in peace, my friend. God speed, Charles Stanley, God speed. My life is better because of you, and I am forever grateful God sent you to help me through those very dark times.

Marty Irby is an 8-time world champion equestrian who attended Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. and was honored in 2020 by the late Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II for his work to protect horses and end the scourge of soring. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook @MartyIrby