Boost your Child's Self-Confidence

According to Dorothy Rich author of Megaskills: “Confidence ebbs and flows like a river. It does not run at high tide all the time. There are some days when you know you can manage whatever comes, and there are others when getting out of bed can seem a momentous step. So too with children.”

A child’s self-esteem is a personal assessment about their value as a human being. Lawrence J. Greene, author of 1001 Ways to Improve your Child’s Homework said: “The foundation of self esteem is formed before birth and is comprised of inherited temperament, intelligence, and aptitude. During the first four years of life additional building blocks are mounted on this foundation. These blocks represent family values, child rearing practices, life experiences, reasonable and clearly communicated expectations, fair and consistently applied rules, and social relationships.”

The following suggestions can be used to boost your child's confidence in their ability to succeed in school:

First, abuse lower self esteem. Greene concluded that “healthy self esteem is impossible when a child is physically or emotionally abused, denigrated, compared with more successful children or siblings, given confusing double messages, caused to feel guilt and shame, or repeatedly allowed to fail or do work below her potential. The child who does not like or respect herself is fated to smash repeatedly against barriers throughout her life. Her negative feelings will distort her perceptions and judgment and undermine her motivation, effort, performance, perseverance, commitment, and resilience.”

Second, promote positive behavior. Parents should let their child know what kind of behavior you want them to have. One activity to help your child focus on the positive is called “What do I Do Right?” You will need a paper and pencil for this activity. Send some time together with your child writing down some items you like about yourselves. For example, “I am a kind person. I like to work hard.” Discuss some positive things that other have said about your child. Your child’s teacher is a good source of information for positive statements about your child.

Another helpful activity is called “The Importance of Me.” For this activity you need markers, poster paper, scissors, glue,, magazines, newspapers and snapshots. Help your child to locate pictures of what your child likes- favorite food, pets, hobbies. Attach the pictures and photos to the poster. Also add some words to the poster- for example, a list of your child’s positive qualities. Make sure that you hang the poster in a place where everyone in the family can see it.

Third, share experiences with your child. Rich suggests that parents “tell your child about a time in your own childhood when you felt confident, really able to do somethings like jump off the high diving board or ace the math test . . . and also about the time when you felt not so confident, when you had trouble standing up in front of the class to give a speech.

You can boost your child’s confidence to succeed in school by:

• Encouraging your child to set specific short and long-term goals
• Challenging children to improve on their talents- music, sports, public speaking, writing
• Let your child know that they are responsible for their own happiness in school and in life.