Improving your child's listening skills

Lawrence Greene, author of IMPROVING YOUR CHILD'S SCHOOLWORK concluded: "As children progress through school, the need for good listening skills increases dramatically. In most high schools, students can expect hours of lectures each week. Teachers who lecture usually justify the practice by arguing that they are preparing students for the realities of college where good note taking skills are vital to academic survival. They expect students to record their pearls of wisdom and play back key information verbatim on tests. Few teachers would admit another primary motivate for giving lectures: it is easier for them to read their own notes to their classes than to interact actively, creatively, and dynamically with their students."

Listening is a great challenge for today's students. How do you listen to a teacher's lecture when there are so many distractions. Modern technology is making effective listening more difficult. It difficult for a student to listen to a teacher when they are texting a friend. It's difficult to listen if your mind is focused on the latest video game. The media has also contributed to a shrinking of America's attention span. We expect speakers to overload our senses with video technology.
The following strategies will help develop your child's listening skills (and maybe your own):

First, model good listening skills. According to Carl Smith, author of HOW CAN PARENTS MODEL GOOD LISTENING SKILLS observed: "Parents play an essential role in building children's communication skills because children spend more time with their parents than with any other adult. Parents can model good listening behavior for their children and advise them on ways to listen as an active learner, pick out highlights of a conversation, and ask relevant questions. Sometimes it helps to "show" children that an active listener is one who looks the speaker in the eye and is willing to turn the television off to make sure that the listener is not distracted by outside interference."

Second, become familiar with negative listening habits. Your list of poor listening habits may include the following:

*We miss the point- our thoughts race along from four to ten times faster than most people speak. While we are waiting for the words to come in, the mind tunes them out. *We think we already know- we listen with just 'half an ear." *We are busy listeners- we try to listen while giving part of our attention to a newspaper, radio, or television program *We ambush- we listen carefully, but only to collect information to attack what the other person is saying. *We talk too much- we are only interested in lecturing to our children *We interrupt too much- avoid cutting your child off before they have finished speaking.

Third, be patient. Greene observed: "As is the case in overcoming any deficit, the child with poor listening skills requires practice, patience, feedback, and affirmation for progress. The complexity of the instructions should be increased incrementally as your child demonstrates that her ability to decipher, understand, and remember verbal instructions is improving. From time to time, turn the tables and ask your child to give you a series of instructions that you will then follow. This systematic procedure reinforces a basic fact of life: she must listen attentively to develop the first-rate auditory skills that are essential for success in school."

Developing your child's listening skills will help your child to succeed in school, in relationships, in their home life, and future career. As humans we have two ears and one mouth so we have the potential of listening twice as much as we speak.