Our Past & Our Future

By: Kenneth Stepp

The past, what happened to me, they said, did, hurt, pain, joy, hope dashed, and so on. Our past is our past. My greatest fear is when I find my past defining my present. Thus, ruining my future. Or at least tainting or limiting it. I’m not one that believes in limitations. I have always been able to exceed all anyone placed on me. I see an opening to pass everyone else, and take it. In love. I haven’t found that opening as of yet. One day, in the future. For today. I struggle.

“It's amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” ― John Guare

Your past versus your future should have been the title to this one. Mainly because they seem to be at odds with each other. I know the man I want to be in the near future. He comes more into view each time I focus on him. My past has a two handed grip though. My past has giant suitcases at it’s feet. He wants me to carry them while I run for the goalposts. Of course, that would be impossible. He knows that and would love to keep himself the center of attention.

You meet someone. They seem perfect. Awesome even.You think about them day and night. You begin building the relationship you have always dreamed of. It is Heaven. They love you, you love them. One day, the past shows up. No one is this perfect. Remember so and so? This one is much the same. Before long you are Googling them, looking for faults, flaws, and chinks in the armor. Your past has just stolen your future. One day. Those opportunities no longer present themselves. The future you thought of with hope and prosperity has vanished. You’ll get a glimpse or two at times. But, it’s gone. Traded for the ugliness of your past. It happens to many, it never has to. Sometimes real love only happens once in a lifetime. Sometimes, not at all. Learn to know it when you see it. Keep it when it arrives. And. Learn to love the storms it brings.

“Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.” ― Sherrilyn Kenyon

This quote is a favorite of mine. Someone once said she would dance in the rain. The next week I was in love with her. When I read it, I feel the past covering me like a blanket. Yes. I am susceptible to allowing my past to damage my future. We all are. If logic prevailed, it wouldn’t happen. But logic be damned many times. That blankets on top of me before I know it. Logic has nothing to do with it. And, it may never.

Imagine finding your forever, last love. Imagine you guys are laying in bed at night, talking, planning an awesome future, touching, caressing, just being together makes life unexplainable. Then, they do or say something that reminds you of a past love that was abusive in some way. You are at that moment at a crossroad. One way is a wonderful future with someone that loves you unconditionally. The other. Well. It’s the same road you’ve been on for years. If you saw road signs, you would take the path of love. What path did you choose? The guard at your hearts door doesn’t want to be out of a job. Fire him, or grow old alone.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works