Political Parties Should Consider Name Change

Imagine that you live in a nice neighborhood where you’re proud to raise your children, love and enjoy your neighbors, and life is mostly good. 

There are two important families in this neighborhood, along with the Voter family.

Every four years the family owners make efforts to increase their size, obtain moreland, and increase their influence with the Voters. The surnames of the two families are the Republicans and the Democrats. Their lineage goes back many years and both have had some great members who were, on occasion, respected by all.

Occasionally, smaller clans move in and make an effort to develop a friendship and following. The surnames of these new families are the Libertarians and the Independents. 

The Voter family just sits back and marvels as the fight for power increases, along with rhetoric that ensures the Voters are exposed to unlimited bickering and accusations.

There is definitely a solution to these four-year malaises.  Perhaps the Voters should change the family names of their neighbors to a more appropriate surname.  The Republican family could be renamed “Carbon Dioxide,” The Democrat name could be changed to the “Hydrogen” family, The Independents could be called the “Ammonia” family, and the Libertarians could be proudly referred to as the “Methanes.”

There is a purpose to these name changes which are fair, reasonable, and deserved by those households seeking power. 

According to research that was conducted by one of the Voters, when you mix
carbon dioxide, methane, ammonia, and hydrogen, these four gasses represent the
chemical equivalent of, well, you know what comes out of a bull.

In November, the Voter family will be tasked with choosing the “pile” you can
tolerate the best, and we can hope the combatants will at some point return to
their neighborhoods and start being nicer, kinder and more likeable to each
other, at least for the next four years.

Perhaps it’s asking too much when we request that the families quit attacking each other and start attacking the problems that never seem to be resolved by either family.