As I patiently await the birth of my 7th yes, I did say 7th child I can't help but think about his older brothers. I call them the experimental models. They are 24 and 22 years old. People ask me all kinds of things like "Why would you want so many children?" or one of my favorites "Are you trying to keep up with the Duggers?". I in turn wonder why they only had two or worse yet one loney child. Now don't get me wrong I honestly believe in your right to have as many or as few or even none as strongly as I believe in my right to have 7 but I often wonder out loud how you ever manage to get it right with so few chances. My oldest son is working full time (actually more then full time, more hours then mom wishes but I'm proud of his dedication) and is currently engaged and planning for his wedding in April. He is well on the way to forging a life for himself. The next oldest is currently serving in the US Navy so not only is he forging his own way in this world he is making it safer for you and me while he does it. How could I not be incredibly proud of the sacrifices he makes daily? These babies of mine have grown up and before I knew it they were men. I sometimes look at them and wonder where all that time went. Did I do enough? Did I take my time? Did I remember to slow down and cherish each tiny milestone and even more those moments that don't make the baby book? The answer is most likely no. I've learned that having more babies in the house to raise does not make it easier to let these boys of mine go. I miss those particular tiny hands and toes, sleepy headed Saturdays, first steps, first words, all of the firsts even the tantrums and squabbles, sure those noises have been replaced by the newest additions but its not the same, never will be the same. I know this all hit me when I realized the next boy in the bunch has quietly stepped up to the line. He is 15 and without my permission he has begun the journey from boy to man. He wants to drive as often as possible, he calls to tell me he is going to have dinner with friends before the football game, he wants to date, he has started talking about his own career in the military (agggghhh, but fodder for another post) and excels at ROTC. He is hurdling himself toward manhood at a completely unapproved speed. He had been my baby, the youngest for 7 years and even after the rest came along he was firmly planted in birth line and in my head as one of the "little people". You'd think that when he soared past 6 foot I would have realized he is no longer one of the little people! So, as I listen to the other expectant and new mommies worrying about labor and breast feeding, sleep training and nap schedules, potty training and preschool I cant help but think they have no idea. These phases are the easy stuff. Yes, it matters but in many ways it really doesn't. In the long run how old you were when you slept through the night or the age you potty trained are no where to be found on a job application. The lifelong stuff comes now, now is when you better know what's what, who's who, and be there. Now is when all those books you read when you were expecting, when all the timeouts and discipline really matter. This is when your metal as a parent is tested. I wasn't happy about coming face to face with preparing to parent through this very important stage again but at least this time I'm not going in blind. I have been here before and I know the joys, the pain, and the pride that comes with slowly letting them take over the reigns and live their lives. The most important thing I think I've learned this far? As parents we make the mistake of planning who we think our child is right from the time that test reads positive. We imagine they will be president, an astronaut, a football star, a beauty queen, a lawyer, a doctor, a CEO, the most interesting man /woman in the world! Whatever the secret dream you have to put it aside. It is your dream not their dream. What do you want most of all for your child? Isn't it so simple? HAPPY, you want them to be happy, right? The real trick is to remember it is their right to define what that means for themselves not yours. You love them, teach them, support them, and accept them as they search to define it. Because someday very soon they will walk out into the world alone and trust me watching them go hurts just a little less if you know they are simply happy.