Personal Responsibility during the Coronavirus

In a recent phone discussion with my daughter, I teasingly asked the question "how many days of captivity has this been", referencing the last day we had seen each other since the “stay at home policy” was enacted. As I pondered this question later, it dawned on me that others may be at home asking this same question and maneuvering through a great deal of feelings, like what I am doing.

For me, being stuck inside my home has left me feeling like Tom Hank’s character in the movie Cast Away. I am often talking to myself or to my companion - my little white Maltipoo. Like Hank’s companion Wilson in the movie - the white volleyball - my dog does not talk back either. I am constantly left with a one-sided conversation but am grateful for his presence in my life.

As I go about each day, my feelings have been climbing the walls. Most days I am feeling anxiety and desperate for human contact, while other days I am feeling a great sense of sadness and anger, among other emotions. I like being around people, engaging them, and helping them in one form or another. So, my limited human interactions have been replaced with stress and an unease that I am not used to navigating. My anger stems from living in the greatest country in the world, yet we were not prepared for this pandemic. My sadness stems from the people that are losing their lives, young and old, black and white, and all shades in between, succumbing to this virus without the benefit of family or loved ones to be there with them at their final moments because of the quarantine.

Yes, this probably makes others sad and angry as well, but to survive this pandemic, we must each figure a way to channel our emotions, take care of ourselves and others - as best we can, and come through on the other side. We must all figure out how to adapt and navigate a new normal for our lives and for our families.

To channel my energies and to maintain my sanity, I am directing my strengths to writing and am launching a new series of articles that I will publish regularly entitled Navigating Our (Your) New Normal – Living through the Coronavirus. I will share my thoughts, ideas, and suggestions on several different subjects in hopes that the information I offer can benefit others.

My first topic is Communications.

This is an important topic as it plays a vital role in each of our lives, especially right now. Communications is important because it is imperative that you let other people know what is going on with you. Yes, we should be calling family and friends, especially Pop Pop and Nana, to make sure everyone is ok. However, we must go a step further when it comes to our personal business and exercise "personal responsibility" as it relates to our home and our living conditions. If you are negatively impacted by the coronavirus, you must let others know about this impact, don’t keep it to yourself. This is crucial.

Tomorrow, April 1st, represents a new month, but it also represents the date when most of our bills - such as our mortgages, rent and utilities - must be paid. This pandemic has left many families decimated and unable to keep food on the table, let alone make payments on these life necessities. If you unfortunately fall into this category, you cannot retreat and fail to communicate. Now is the time to take control of your situation so don’t become an ostrich and place your head in the sand.

If you are a homeowner or a renter and can no longer meet your financial obligations relative to paying your mortgage or paying your rent, exercise personal responsibility and contact your banks, mortgage companies, and landlords. Let them know you are experiencing problems because of the pandemic. There are laws that have been enacted to ensure that you will not be negatively impacted at this time because you cannot pay, but it is imperative that you communicate what is going on with you to the appropriate persons and ask them to work with you during this difficult time. Don’t expect anyone to guess or assume that you are negatively impacted…communicate.

It is imperative that you call or write a letter to your bank, landlord, or mortgage company and explain that you have been negatively impacted by the coronavirus. Your call or letter does not need to be long and drawn out, but it must include certain pieces of information. If you are writing a letter, it should include the following:

• Current Date
• The name of the person you are directing this letter to
• A short message that you have been negatively impacted because of the coronavirus.
• A request for delayed payment, partial payment, or suspended payment until such time as the crisis is over.
• a request for a confirmation that your note has been received.

Before sending, make a copy for your records.

If you are placing a call, your conversation should include elements of the above and you should ask for the name, title, and phone number of the person you are speaking with. Notate that in your records. If you have not heard a response after a week, send a follow up letter or make a follow up call. Again, it is imperative that you are the person championing this issue for you and your family because no one else will assume this responsibility for you.

Your calls and letters will serve several purposes. It will show that you are proactively trying to manage this situation during this crisis. It can also protect you against any negative action from your bank or landlord once this pandemic is behind us. It will support that you were being responsible during difficult times, not ignoring, running away, or placing your responsibilities onto someone else.

For those of you with a student loan that you cannot pay, you can have your monthly payments suspended under the new CARES Act.

When it comes to your utilities, again, contact each provider to let them know what is going on with you. The proactive and responsible steps you take now will have long lasting benefits for you and your family when the pandemic is over.

I urge you to stay up to date with what is going on in our community and in Washington. Decisions that are being made will impact you and your family in one form or another so stay informed. Lastly, please share this message with your family and friends if you think they can benefit from this information.

I end this piece as I started it, please make sure that you are Communicating with the people that will impact the safety and security of you and your family. Please don’t leave this to chance.

Until next time, be well and be safe, as you Navigate Your New Normal.