Chicago's Rat Problem: How Do You Handle the City's Rodent Residents?

CHICAGO, IL — The city has a rat problem, and it has nothing to do with City Hall.

(Cue house band to play a rimshot and a sad trombone after lame, predictable "all politicians are crooks" joke.)

Chicago has a thriving—some might characterize it as out of control—rodent population. And for better or worse, these quadruped residents are a bristle-haired, long-tailed reflection of their biped neighbors they share city streets with: They're a burly, down-to-earth breed with a belly full of moxy, a take-no-crap attitude and a fierce, protective pride of their food and their home turf.

RELATED: Feral Cats Used to Control Rat Problem on North Side

Think of them as miniature Mike Ditkas or Dennis Farrina, except with their full, glorious moustache hair covering their whole bodies, not just their upper lips.

Not all Chicagoans find those characteristics endearing in a rat (or in most humans), however. That's why efforts, such as releasing feral cats into neighborhoods, have been undertaken to "thin the herd," so to speak.

RELATED: Meet the Cool Cats Who Protect a Chicago Brewery From Rats

But how do residents handle rat encounters of a more personal nature? What thinks can they do to establish dominance or avoid contact altogether?

That's the question Reddit user jwlls had for people on the social media and news platform. Here's what the Lincoln Park resident posted to the site:

"I don't have any rats in my home and I don't see anything in the morning. Just when I come home to my Lincoln Park apartment. Unfortunately, I have to go through the side, between two apartments, to the back and around up the steps to get into my apartment. I didn't realize Chicago's rat issue before deciding to live at the place even though I lived here for two and a half years prior. A front door entrance would have been first on my list.

"But now that I am in the lease—here is what I do to get into my apartment without having a heart attack.
I walk down Fullerton on the side with the most people. This keeps me calm until I get to my street. I turn the corner and walk in the street's bike lane, to avoid neighbors front yards and street side garden beds, while jiggling my keys. I reach my apartment and walk up to space that reaches my back steps and observe. If I see nothing, I jiggle my keys while playing the "car horn" sound on my iPhone as I walk to my steps.

"As I reach the steps, I take a quick millisecond to look to make sure nothing is on my steps and I dart up them at the same time. Without glancing into the darkness that leads to the alley.

"This has helped for the past week. But my nerves are still shot. If people could kindly post how rats have run away from them and not that other stuff like they run across your feet or stare at you, I would appreciate it. The more I read how they will run away, the better. Even lie if you have to!! Lol"

Advice was plentiful, if not always useful. User xvszero, a Jefferson Park resident, provided a level-headed response:

"I would not be concerned about a rat running at you. In my (increasingly growing) experience they always run away before I get anywhere near them. I HATE seeing them, but I don't get concerned that they will attack or anything. They seem very afraid of me. In fact, I usually see them with a bit of distance between us and even then they tend to run in the other direction. …

"As for what to actively do, I heard that the city quickly on reports and that has been my experience. I went to the website … [a]nd put in a report for my alley. You get a tracking link in your email. About 10 days later it said they had baited the alley with rat poison, and sure enough I saw a new sign in my alley (they will usually put up a sign with the date they baited.) To be honest I haven't seen a rat in my alley since around that time (about 2 weeks ago), so maybe it worked?

"Although I still see them everywhere ELSE in the neighborhood a lot, so like … not sure what else to do. I could put in a report for other alleys in the surrounding blocks I suppose but I think to a certain degree you just have to learn to live with rats in Chicago."

Another commenter, davehk, suggested going after their nutrition:

"The best thing you can do is eliminate their food source. Make sure all the trash is put into the bins in the alley, and that the bins are in good shape without any holes or broken lids. If you have a bin that is broken, call 311 for a replacement, it will get handled.

"I had a neighbor that was too lazy to walk his trash down three flights of stairs to the alley, so he'd let it pile up outside his door. Those f---ers would run up the stairs to get at it."

When it came to dealing with or preventing one-on-one encounters, some users pointed out an old axiom about animals: They're more afraid of you than you are of them. In those cases, commenters, such as jesusmcpenis, suggested making loud noises or other distractions to keep the rats away:

"Use your phone flashlight so you don't get surprised and step heavily. They are scared of you even though it doesn't seem like it. You're a literal giant to them.

"If you really don't mind looking a bit crazy you can collect pebbles everyday when you are about and then toss them ahead of you as you go down the alley. It'll make them scatter, but eventually you will have an alley full of rocks."

While the tips on how to handle Chicago's rat overlords neighbors were informative, the nicknames residents have devised for the city's rodents were just as entertaining. Some examples included:

• garbage squirrels
• Dumpster puppies
• city kitties

YOUR TURN: What tips do you have when it comes to dealing with Chicago's rat problem? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section.

More via Reddit

photo via Patch archive

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