What “opting out” of equity means for our community

In accordance with a new bill that mandates Illinois schools incorporate LGBTQ+ positive learning in every school by July 1, 2020, it was encouraging to see District 65 schools dedicate this past four-day school week to LGBTQ+ equity, with an age-appropriate curriculum made available to all in advance of the week’s activities.

What was far less encouraging was the reaction of parents who felt “opting out” (or calling in absent) their children from this opportunity to broaden worldviews and foster civil equality in our community.

The reality is we live in a multicultural community, where families celebrate Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, and Christian holidays; where we embrace the arts and food of our global citizens; where we plaster our yards with signs about hate having no place here; where houses of worship have rainbow flags at their doors to denote they are safe places for LGBTQ+ neighbors to pray; where we protect immigrants from being cruelly separated from their families by authoritarian and inhumane ICE practices. And yet, when it comes down to living into these practices, many are only outraged when THEIR children are inconvenienced; are only supportive of inclusivity when it extends to their specific identifying demographics. We shouldn’t have a community more outraged that children can’t wear costumes to school on Halloween than they are about the perpetuation of discriminatory practices.

A number of parents in District 65 public schools spent much of the week complaining about the curriculum that, at its most basic level, focused on embracing (or at minimum *accepting*) children in our schools regardless of gender identity. The reasons for their rage ranged from:
- My kid is too young to learn about sex! (Perpetuating the myth that everything gay = sex; no elementary grade classes were taught anything about intercourse)
- My religion forbids it! (Perpetuating the myth that you can’t be LGBTQIAN and a person of faith)
- My kid shouldn’t have to ascribe to these newfangled “trends!” (Perpetuating the myth that homosexuality has not been around since before the ancient Greeks and Romans and, frankly, since the beginning of mankind)
- There’s no curriculum tailored towards teaching my special education student this topic in an inclusive way. (there was, both generally and individualized, and the curriculum was distributed in advance)
- I’m opting my kid out because there is no week specifically dedicated to “our kind” of people! (If by “closed minded people week,” one could suppose this is accurate)
- I’m opting my kid out because they took away Halloween parties in the district and forced this week down our throats! (Correlation score: zero)
- If you’re preaching tolerance you need to be tolerant of my intolerant beliefs! (just... no)

Many of these parents will sigh with relief as they tuck themselves in this weekend, reassured that on Monday their kids will go back to school without any insidious LGBTQIAN “agenda” being foisted upon their children. But they will be wrong. Because the shapes of the hearts of children who participated this week have changed and grown: to empathize and understand what it means to be a kid who identifies differently than their birth gender, to understand why we stop gender-based bullying in its tracks, the significant role queer heroes play in the civil rights movement, and how our kids need not conform to stereotypical tropes.

We should be proud of all of the kids and parents who participated enthusiastically this week, and grateful to the teachers, administrators, and school employees who were inundated with misplaced rage and held firm for the sake of EVERY kid in our district.

Teaching your children that they need only respect the culture, beliefs, and identities of people like them does a disservice to them. Instead of protecting your child, teach your child to protect at-risk friends and classmates from bullying, hate, and violence. If the shoe were on the other foot, you would want and even expect the same for your child.

In 2020, LGBTQ+ inclusive curriculum will be mandatory in the state of Illinois. This is a long overdue step. Make every excuse you need to. Hate will lose, in the end.

For more information on the 2020 LGBTQ+ inclusive curriculum statewide, read here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/lgbtq-history-to-be-taught-in-all-illinois-public-schools-starting-next-year/