"Parents at The Park" A New Breed of Bullys!

This past month we have been lucky enough to enjoy more favorable weather. Finally, my family can get out of the house and stretch their legs.  As a mother of two I have always encouraged my kids to be active and get outside on beautiful days and play! No T.V., no computers, and no video games. Just be a kid, run around, jump, and climb.

As I mentioned, I have two children.  One boy, 12 years old, 7th grade and one girl, 9 years old, 4th grade.  When they were younger, they absolutely loved going to the park with me.  I would take them to explore all the parks in the area.  Evergreen Park, Oak Lawn, and Chicago. Not much has changed except that now they would rather go to the park without me.  However, since I also love the park, I tag along as much as I can! I love to watch my children swing, slide, and play tag. 

A few weeks ago, on a Monday, I picked my kids up from school.  It was a much anticipated beautiful Spring day.  I told my children that as soon as we got home, I wanted them to do their homework, call some friends and have all of us pile into the minivan and head to the park.

We went to Veteran's Park in E.P. on 97th and California.  We pulled up, it wasn't very crowded, just a few parent's with their little ones.  Everyone jumped out of my van screaming, "Not it!" All five kids ran over to the playset to play, "Monkey on the woodchips".  I grabbed a magazine and sat on the bench next to the playset. After about  15 minutes I noticed that the few parents that were there, started to form a little circle by my kids on that side of the playset.  Their little ones (around the ages of 3 and 4) weren't even playing on that side of the playset.  I thought it was odd that they weren't paying attention to their own children, rather, they were staring at mine.  

So, I watched and listened for a few minutes and noticed them giving my kids disgusted looks.  These parents seemed like the more my kids had fun, the more upset they became.  I overheard one of them say, loudly, "these big kids don't belong here, they need to go!".  The others nodded their heads in agreement.  Then the woman doing most of the talking, turned towards me and said, "They should not be blocking the slide.  If they are not going to use the slide, they should get down!"  

I don't think she realized that I was their mother. I replied by telling her that I have been sitting there the entire time and NOT AT ANYTIME, did I see them acting inappropriately.  She told me that the park was not meant for big kids and they were going to end up hurting one of the little one's.  

At that point, I introduced myself as the children’s mother and explained that, as far as I knew, there was no age limit for children to play in the park.  The children were respectful and having fun. I also told her that I live in E.P. and I pay my taxes.  My children have the right to play at this park and any other park in the area.  I asked her to stop trying to bully my kids into leaving!

I was pretty upset about the situation.  Shortly after, we decided to leave.
The following weekend, I took my 2 kids, my nephew, and some of their friends to Sullivan Park on 99th Street in Oak Lawn.  It was a little breezier that day so I decided to sit in my car.  To my surprise, as my kids were playing on the spinning monkey bars, a couple of parents started congregating and criticizing “the big" kids at the park.  I stepped out of the car and stood by my kids but nothing was said.  Just dirty looks were given. I often wonder if they would’ve said anything if I wasn’t there.

Sadly, just this past weekend, I dropped my son and two friends off at Duffy Park at 92nd & Millard Ave. in E.P.  He was only there for about an hour when his "park-time" got cut short.  A woman and her little children walked up to the playset and asked them to leave because "they weren't suppose to be in that area.  That area was for the little ones!"  My son's friend, didn't hear what she said, so he asked the other boy, "What?" and an older man, that was just passing by decided to intervene and yelled at the boys for being disrespectful.  The man thought the boys said. "Whatever!" to this woman and her children.  

My son walked away and called me for a ride home. I told him that I couldn't get there for 15 minutes. He told me that he just wanted to leave as soon as he could. So, he started to walk home and I ended up picking him up in route. My son left the park because of these people!

I never thought my children would be bullied by adults.  My idea of a bully was a big, mean, obnoxious, punky kid.  Not an average-looking everyday Mom. 

I would like to know from these parent’s, “Where should these junior high kids go?” Should they go and hangout on the corners?  Should they go and stand in front of the gas stations or 7-Eleven?  Or maybe sit in someone’s basement or garage? 

I am happy that my children want to go to the park.  I am grateful that my children are healthy and active enough to run around and play “tag”.  I am proud of them for being respectful, caring children that could walk onto a playground and make new friends that they feel confortable enough to invite to play a game of "it". Most of all, I love the fact that my kids are still kids.

The weather is finally taking a turn for the better and IT’S A SHAME that my worries are in regards to inappropriate actions and comments of parent’s!

Quite honestly, I do believe that it takes a village to raise a child and that a child should behave respectfully at the park. 

However, (to all the parent’s at the park), please base your reaction on the actions of the kids.   Don’t judge a book by its cover.  Just because you see junior high kids at the park playing or just sitting and talking doesn’t mean that you have the right to tell them to leave.  Just as my older children have to share the park with your little ones, your little ones have to share the park with my older one’s!