9/11: A Day of True Impact - Not to Be Forgotten

The sting is still so strong after 20 years. At a 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony on the 20th anniversary of the attacks, I was instantly brought back to that horrific day – the day that lives were changed in an instant. The course of so many peoples’ futures took paths they may not have taken – if not for this tragedy. I am one of those.

I had been working as a news reporter since late 1999 at my first radio job in Decatur, Illinois, at WSOY 1340AM. I was a writer, reporter and broadcaster - covering government, nonprofits, police and fire, and 'community news of the day’ in Decatur and Central Illinois.

The Friday before this fateful Tuesday, I had given two weeks’ notice to Joel, my station manager. I felt like I was in a rut, reporting the same story each day just with different names, places and issues. Joel regretfully accepted my resignation, but asked if I was sure. I thought I was, until four days later, just after 9 a.m.

I was to cover an evening meeting on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, so I didn’t have to be at the station to cover my normal first on-air report of the day at 9 a.m. My news director Jeff filled in for me on those days and I got on air at 11 a.m. At around 8:30 a.m., I was driving to the bank and listening to our morning talk show host, Brian, with Byers & Company.

The nearly 20 minutes between 8:46 a.m. and 9:03 a.m. on that day feel eerily recent. At around 8:50 a.m., Brian abruptly interrupted the interview he was doing to share an AP story that a plane hit the World Trade Center’s North Tower. It sounded awful, but it seemed like a terrible accident. Then, he interrupted again and this time I heard a shake and a deepness in his voice, which shook me. I don't know the exact words, but he said something like, “this is not an accident; our country is under attack.”

From there, it just got deeper and more devastating. The third plane crashed into the Pentagon at 9:37 a.m. and the fourth, whose passengers fought valiantly against the terrorists, crashed in a Pennsylvania field at 10:02 a.m. As far as anyone knew, everyone on those planes had been killed, and it did turn out, they all were. And what about the people in the North and South towers, and at the Pentagon who were inside those buildings when the planes hit? Or the first responders that rushed towards danger to save others? We as a country, had just entered the scariest of oblivions.

As I and so many of us listened (or watched) in horror, I headed straight to the radio station. I got on air for the 10:30 a.m. report - but stopped into Joel’s office first to take back my resignation. What was happening was something no good soul could have dreamt up. I felt a duty - a calling to help sort through the chaos. What was happening? Why did this happen? Who did it? What now?

The days and weeks that followed were consumed by reports that included the names of the dead and those who were lost and presumed dead. We learned who they were, and how they were in essence, sacrificial lambs that had no idea when they woke up that day it was their last on Earth; the last time they saw their loved ones and their loved ones saw them. There was crippling footage of people jumping to their deaths from the tower floors high above blazing with fire. The presumption was that they thought it would be better to jump and die, then to burn to death - but no one lived to tell what that thought pattern was. Think for a second, about that choice.

I remember stories of husbands who died, whose wives were pregnant and realized the tragedy their children would never know them - along with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends and others touched through a gut-wrenching ripple effect. And then, there were the first responders desperately searching through the rubble for survivors – hearing what could have been people who were alive and buried, but needed to be rescued. It is difficult to know or understand the toll that had to be taking on their psyches. Then, the noises they were following gradually - stopped.

I remember distinctly when ‘search and rescue’ became a ‘search and recovery’ - and the sinking feeling when that was announced. Many of us saw the South Tower plummet to the ground on live TV at 9:58 a.m., or replays of it. The tragic details I was reporting on a daily basis seemed, endless - but I deeply felt I was doing something that really mattered, that had meaning.

To different extents, we were all terror-stricken and wanted information to sort it all out. People wanted to know and understand what happened, and why. The very fabric of our beloved country was ripped and torn to shreds. Myself, and all members of the news media, were reporting about real lives, real impact, and knew our world as we knew it would forever be changed.

Standing at the 20th anniversary ceremony on September 11, 2021 among many neighbors, friends and acquaintances, I learned that I still mourn so deeply for all the people I never even knew and I cried for them - they lost their lives in service to their community, by simply being at work to provide for their families, or because they happened to be somewhere that day and were sadly entwined in the catastrophic unfolding of events.

They are stinging reminders of chances missed, opportunities gone forever, and lives changed in a multitude of ways. There were some that actually, turned out for good. People found their professions because of 9/11 - as first responders and in the U.S. armed forces, healthcare, social and psychological services, and more. Relationships formed through the adversity of it all, and our country and its people seemed closer than I had ever felt we all were. We all had the same thing in common; a shared sympathy, empathy and grief.

I was just a reporter, but this day changed my life, too, and set me on a path that brings me great satisfaction today. I continue to work in the world of communications, where I am constantly interested, inspired, challenged, and truly believe I am providing an important value.

Let us not ever forget this day in our history. It humbled us, it challenged us, but it also strengthened so many of us as individuals, and as a nation. Always remember.

-Melanie Santostefano, Vicarious Multimedia