Talking to Someone About Their Addiction

> Are you concerned someone you care about is abusing drugs or alcohol?

> What do you say to them? How do you start the conversation?

> How do you motivate them to seek treatment?

It can be challenging to help someone struggling with any type of addiction. Despite the fact that addiction is a medically proven disease --- just like diabetes, cancer, and heart disease ----- even those affected by substance use disorders may not understand or acknowledge the true danger of their illness and that it can be life-threatening if left untreated. Some addicted persons may understand the risks, but don’t believe they have a problem. Denial is a primary reason people get addicted in the first place. After all, most people don’t like to admit they have a problem and in the addictive process this tendency becomes even more apparent.

So, what do you do if you think someone is abusing drugs or alcohol? Here are a few tips to help you talk to someone about their addiction:

· Don’t think about the conversation as a confrontation. Make your concern for them your focus. It may help to talk about a few specific behaviors or incidents that have directly affected you as a result of the individual’s addiction. Staying calm and caring, tell them how the incidents made you feel and why you’re so concerned.

· Remember, the goal of talking to someone about their addiction is for you to express your concern and tell them what you will and will not accept in the relationship in the future. You cannot make someone stop being addicted ---- they need to have the desire to change for treatment to work. So don’t make the situation worse by thinking you can force the person into treatment.

· There’s an insightful quote by Albert Camus, the French novelist: “Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” When it comes to talking to someone about their addiction, be their friend. An addict is more likely to feel safe confiding in a friend about what is really going on for them.

· Don’t monopolize the conversation. Be sure to let them talk so they don’t feel like they’re being ganged up on. Ask questions and try not to judge them for their responses. Help them use this as an opportunity to lift the weight of the world off their shoulders.

Perhaps most important, understand that recovery can begin at any point in the addiction process—but the earlier, the better. Don’t wait until your friend or loved one hits rock bottom. If you truly believe they have a problem, talk to them about it. And if you think you need help getting that conversation going, contact a substance use disorder treatment center and they will guide you through steps.

##

David Bohl is Executive Director of Kiva Recovery, the trusted resource in addiction treatment. Focusing on the individual and the strengths within each of us, Kiva’s treatment approach aims to replace addiction with solution-focused, growth-oriented strategies focusing on Lifelong Recovery through Holistic Health, Positive Character Building through Continuous Character Growth, and Life Satisfaction through Contentment. The Kiva Recovery treatment center is located in Vernon Hills. To learn more, please visit www.KivaRecovery.com.