How To Communicate With Someone With Memory Impairment
All people, at all stages in life and throughout the world, have the need to communicate. For those who are memory impaired or have dementia, communication is extremely difficult and, for some, impossible.
It is important to know that people who are memory impaired cannot help that they cannot remember. They are not crazy. They are not lazy. The things they say and do are normal things for people with the disability of memory loss and/or dementia. There will be times when memory impaired people say things that appear normal but they are not. Their reality is different than that of a healthy person.
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We cannot control what, how or when a person suffering from memory impairment and/or dementia reacts. However, we can control how we react. It’s important that we know that a person with this type of disability cannot remember that they do not remember. They will ask the same question repeatedly and say the same thing over and again. They believe it is the first time they have asked the question or made the statement.
The question is: What can we do? There are nine simple things you can do to help a person with memory impairment and/or dementia. They are:
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- Give short, one sentence explanations.
- Repeat instructions or sentences exactly the same way.
- Allow plenty of time for comprehension.
- Eliminate “but” from your vocabulary; substitute with “nevertheless”.
- Accept blame when something is wrong (even if it is a fantasy).
- Leave the room if necessary to avoid confrontations.
- Respond to feelings rather than words.
- Be patient, gentle and reassuring. Go with the flow.
- Elevate your level of generosity and graciousness.
It is a challenge, to be sure, to successfully interact with a person with memory impairment and/or dementia. Be gentle to your loved one, and just as important, be gentle with yourself. Remember, eye contact, touch and tone.
Julie can be reached by phone at (301)355-6578 or via email at VisitingAngels@VisitingAngelsmd.com
*Adapted from Alzheimer’s: A Handbook for the Caretaker by Eileen H. Driscoll, R.N., Branden Publishing Co., 1994
