Beyond the S’mores: Growing and Maturing at Summer Camp

Over the past few weeks, as my children have dabbled in various summer activities, I have reflected numerous times on the value of summer camp. For me, and more importantly my children, it rests in the intangibles that often do not manifest themselves until well after the experience is over.

My daughter, an avid horse lover, attended a local pony camp for two weeks. For her it was both a dream experience and a huge learning curve as she brought with her a frisky pony she did not have the experience to readily handle. The first afternoon, I asked about her day. She relayed with shocking enthusiasm, “Great! I fell off my pony two times and got stung by a wasp.” Undeterred, she could not wait to go back.

The days that ensued followed a similar pattern, resulting in many missteps for both pony and rider. Her camp days began with a nearly 20-minute chase through the field to lure her pony into its bridle. Yet, watching this cat and mouse spectacle, I was overcome with pride for her—for her patience and determination—both of which are hard life skills for me, and certainly are harder for her, by far, at age 8.

On her final day of camp, she invited me to her pony show, an exhibition of her accomplishments in the ring. When I arrived, she was on her second practice circuit. The pony repeatedly dug in its hooves and refused to cross the consecutive jumps on the required course. I watched my daughter struggle with frustration but also beg for another try. When it came time for her circuit, I was afraid to open my eyes, lest she meet failure again, this time in front of an audience. However, I marveled as she steered her pony around the ring with patience, grace and determination, revealing a part of herself absent during fights with her multiplication tables or attempts at perfecting a dive off the diving board. Over the course of her two weeks at camp, she had found within herself qualities and strengths untapped before. In that moment, I witnessed her grow up in so many ways.

A friend shared her recent experience of dropping her son off for his first summer at sleep-away camp. He was immediately taught how to fold his shirts and tuck neat hospital corners on his bunk so that his cabin would earn high marks for its daily inspection. As she reluctantly saw him off for three-and-a-half weeks, he scampered to the lake with his new cabin-mate, and in a display of sheer determination, swam 600 yards to pass his deep water test—a feat often reserved for the last week of camp.

Like me, she marveled at his sudden confidence and independence, as well as the responsibility and care he displayed learning the rites of cabin inspection. As she drove away, she knew he would not return to her the same boy he was that morning. Accomplishments like his swim would highlight his camp experience and mature him in ways unseen by his parents; realized well beyond his return.

The simple rites of passage summer offers allow our children to grow in countless ways—the first jump off the diving board, the deep-end pool test, the relinquishing of training wheels, the hard hike up a steep path, or simply the experience of making new friends in new places. These moments arguably warrant the sacrifice parents make to allow their children the freedom and experience of summer camp.

These experiences, often won out of the watchful eyes of their ever-vigilant parents, allow children to grow independently and realize life skills beyond those learned in the classroom or in an organized activity. They are often called upon to harness their own inner strength, courage, will or patience to accomplish these unique seasonal goals.

For that, I am so grateful I have given my children these rare opportunities.